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General Parenting
considering adopting 4 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 280679" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>I think you have received some great advice from other members to proceed extremely cautiously if at all on this adoption. </p><p></p><p>Dealing with one troubled child is dfficult enough. Adding another to the mix makes it way way harder because you are also dealing with all the interactions among the various family members. As my children get older I realize that we are way beyond the difficulties of preschool type issues. As they move into teenagehood, the potential for them to do real harm to themselves and others is frightening and ups the ante in terms of what it could do to your own mental and physical and financial health and that of your spouse. </p><p></p><p>I wouldn't do it unless you and your husband have incredible time, energy, financial and emotional resources and incredibly good connections to a very large and dedicated community of mental health professionals. </p><p></p><p>Sorry to be so negative. But if you haven't seen an improvement in a year and the child is in a good stable environment it suggests that the issues are deep seated and that they are going to need a lot of intensive intervention and probably cause a fair amount of acting out along the way.</p><p></p><p>It must be very difficult to see such a troubled child and not want to help and I admire you for wanting to do so. Please think about yourself and the rest of your family as well. Some of us are well suited for sainthood, others of us unfortunately have our all too human limitations. </p><p></p><p>Good luck with your decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 280679, member: 2322"] I think you have received some great advice from other members to proceed extremely cautiously if at all on this adoption. Dealing with one troubled child is dfficult enough. Adding another to the mix makes it way way harder because you are also dealing with all the interactions among the various family members. As my children get older I realize that we are way beyond the difficulties of preschool type issues. As they move into teenagehood, the potential for them to do real harm to themselves and others is frightening and ups the ante in terms of what it could do to your own mental and physical and financial health and that of your spouse. I wouldn't do it unless you and your husband have incredible time, energy, financial and emotional resources and incredibly good connections to a very large and dedicated community of mental health professionals. Sorry to be so negative. But if you haven't seen an improvement in a year and the child is in a good stable environment it suggests that the issues are deep seated and that they are going to need a lot of intensive intervention and probably cause a fair amount of acting out along the way. It must be very difficult to see such a troubled child and not want to help and I admire you for wanting to do so. Please think about yourself and the rest of your family as well. Some of us are well suited for sainthood, others of us unfortunately have our all too human limitations. Good luck with your decision. [/QUOTE]
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considering adopting 4 year old
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