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constant uphill battle
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 373154" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>So sorry you had a bad night. It makes such a difference to have your husband on board. </p><p> </p><p>I ditto a lot of what was said, especially the neuropsychologist evaluation. They are expensive, take a long time to get appointments and a long time to get the results but are soooooo worth it. (we had an agency actually pay for ours so make some calls) I had been trying to get answers about my difficult child since he was 18 months old with some minor delays and I contacted early intervention. Then every couple years as he failed to thrive in school I would ask the school to test or take him to a psychologist. He never had anything but some help with speech. The neuropsychologist changed all that. At the age of 15 I finally had answers and proof of all the things I saw all along but couldn't prove to anyone. The test was so incredibly detailed and though his psychiatrist is amazing and gave him a diagnosis that IS accurate there was so much more to him that she could never see such as a motor skill delay, memory issues etc. </p><p> </p><p>The neuropsychologist didn't fix our problems but it gave us a solid foundation of where to start. We learned what behaviors difficult child couldn't help and realized it wasn't being bad and a lack of discipline. We also learned what and how to handle the things we could help him with. In our case the results were kind of sobering and a little sad but it shed light like never before and it made and still makes a world of difference. Even the best doctors who diagnose cannot see all the complicated levels. IF your difficult child turns out to JUST have what you thought all the better because it gives you direcion to head as a parent.</p><p> </p><p>As for the chore chart, we had varrying success with that which is not the norm for difficult child's in here. It did take a long time and a lot of consistant follow up which translates to constant maintenance. I'm not going to lie it is exhausting but in our case it worked. My difficult child flipped out when we tried to start our chart. In his case anytime we started to push back against him and fight for progress he got temporarily worse. He was very resistant to change especially change that meant he had to try to do better. He always was and still is affected by routine changes like going back to school after summer break or not going to bed on time. The slightest change really does throw him off and it shows in his attitude. I agree with the others that you difficult child has to see it as having a benefit to him for it to really work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 373154, member: 8617"] So sorry you had a bad night. It makes such a difference to have your husband on board. I ditto a lot of what was said, especially the neuropsychologist evaluation. They are expensive, take a long time to get appointments and a long time to get the results but are soooooo worth it. (we had an agency actually pay for ours so make some calls) I had been trying to get answers about my difficult child since he was 18 months old with some minor delays and I contacted early intervention. Then every couple years as he failed to thrive in school I would ask the school to test or take him to a psychologist. He never had anything but some help with speech. The neuropsychologist changed all that. At the age of 15 I finally had answers and proof of all the things I saw all along but couldn't prove to anyone. The test was so incredibly detailed and though his psychiatrist is amazing and gave him a diagnosis that IS accurate there was so much more to him that she could never see such as a motor skill delay, memory issues etc. The neuropsychologist didn't fix our problems but it gave us a solid foundation of where to start. We learned what behaviors difficult child couldn't help and realized it wasn't being bad and a lack of discipline. We also learned what and how to handle the things we could help him with. In our case the results were kind of sobering and a little sad but it shed light like never before and it made and still makes a world of difference. Even the best doctors who diagnose cannot see all the complicated levels. IF your difficult child turns out to JUST have what you thought all the better because it gives you direcion to head as a parent. As for the chore chart, we had varrying success with that which is not the norm for difficult child's in here. It did take a long time and a lot of consistant follow up which translates to constant maintenance. I'm not going to lie it is exhausting but in our case it worked. My difficult child flipped out when we tried to start our chart. In his case anytime we started to push back against him and fight for progress he got temporarily worse. He was very resistant to change especially change that meant he had to try to do better. He always was and still is affected by routine changes like going back to school after summer break or not going to bed on time. The slightest change really does throw him off and it shows in his attitude. I agree with the others that you difficult child has to see it as having a benefit to him for it to really work. [/QUOTE]
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