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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 587979" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Oh I dont feel sorry for him I just don't want her to do something stupid and lose him forever. She would never forgive herself if she did. Considering she is a difficult child and thinks nothing she does has consequences I can easily see her saying or doing something that would cause him to shut down and protect himself and his new family. </p><p></p><p>I have a cousin and aunt who went through this years ago and the Aunt made a call that she shouldn't have. That phone call caused Biodad and his family to walk away and want no contact. Now the cousin has to live with it because her mother made a nasty phone call and no one can convince the family to open back up.</p><p></p><p>I dont want that to happen. That of course is the hardest part for me because I feel like I have to walk an imaginary tightrope so that I dont inadvertantly damage the relationship. I talked to husband about it last night and told him I want to limit my contact with Biodad because they need to work this out without me being overly involved. It is their issue to work out not mine. </p><p></p><p>Thankfully I have an active therapist. Part of the agreement with the grands was that difficult child would attend therapy while living with them. As of last weekend she stated she didn't want it or need it and didn't have the time so she has not gone. I am not happy about that but I just suggested it might be good to have someone to talk through this with. She blew it off as usual.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 587979, member: 15473"] Oh I dont feel sorry for him I just don't want her to do something stupid and lose him forever. She would never forgive herself if she did. Considering she is a difficult child and thinks nothing she does has consequences I can easily see her saying or doing something that would cause him to shut down and protect himself and his new family. I have a cousin and aunt who went through this years ago and the Aunt made a call that she shouldn't have. That phone call caused Biodad and his family to walk away and want no contact. Now the cousin has to live with it because her mother made a nasty phone call and no one can convince the family to open back up. I dont want that to happen. That of course is the hardest part for me because I feel like I have to walk an imaginary tightrope so that I dont inadvertantly damage the relationship. I talked to husband about it last night and told him I want to limit my contact with Biodad because they need to work this out without me being overly involved. It is their issue to work out not mine. Thankfully I have an active therapist. Part of the agreement with the grands was that difficult child would attend therapy while living with them. As of last weekend she stated she didn't want it or need it and didn't have the time so she has not gone. I am not happy about that but I just suggested it might be good to have someone to talk through this with. She blew it off as usual. [/QUOTE]
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