Controlling and being a difficult person

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by SunnyFlorida, Mar 31, 2007.

  1. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Help...I know this is watercooler stuff, but if I put it there I'll never get back to it.

    New 20yr younger supervisor wants me (as well as her other employees) to come up with our personal action plan to improve our communication with each other. I'm now controlling and a difficult person. Never mind that it takes another co-worker over 10weeks to address a request I made!

    What self improvement things can I write that will suffice as an "action plan". I started typing one but would like some input from you all.
     
  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I will think over all communications before responding. I will address any concerns brought up no sooner or later than 24 hrs.

    When a conflict arises, I will take into consideration all views, research what happened how it hapend and how it can be resolved so it sdoesnt happen again.
     
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Stephen Covey--I will seek first to understand then work to be understood. I will listen first; try to understand the others frame of reference, consider their point of view, then offer mine.
     
  4. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    I will seek first to understand, then to be understood

    by the way, that's Stephen Covey....7 Habits of Highly Effective People blah blah blah....but some of it really does work!!

    Could be that your 20yr junior supervisor isn't 'out to get you' but is targeting somebody else....A tactic my boss uses is to direct a complaint to everyone, not single out the true person who made the infraction in the first place.

    Have fun with the plan! Remember, once you have a plan, you can deviate from there.....

    Peace
     
  5. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    :rofl: kat! Neat!! We're on the same page!

    Peace
     
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Geez, you guys are SO smart! DDD

    PS: That book is sitting unread on my coffee table..lol !
     
  7. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Covey's stuff is pretty good, but like most things it isn't a panacea. Having been a "difficult" person to manage, and having been a manager of difficult people, I can tell you what worked best for me in both situations:

    1. Make sure you have clearly understood goals and objectives, preferrably written down and signed by both you and other person.

    2. Make sure the goals and objectives focus primarily on overall work responsibilities and performance of assigned duties.

    3. Indicate what criteria will be used to evaluate their performance against their goals and objectives.

    4. Have periodic (quarterly) informal evaluations of "where they are" against their goals and objectives.

    5. Have a game plan before any evaluations, and make sure you carefully choose the words you'll use to keep emotion out of the discussion. Just like a difficult child, if a "difficult" person senses that you're action from emotion instead of a firm grounding in rules, they will immediately use that against you in the conversation, regardless of whether you're right or wrong.

    6. Make sure you're intimately familiar with your HR policies concerning counselling and discipline of employees. Many managers (and companies) have gotten into trouble for not following the laws (or even their own rules and policies) for handling "difficult" employees. Usually, the company ends up on the wrong end of the stick.

    Just my two pennies, but it isn't much different from the various strategies presented here on CD about dealing with difficult child's. The only difference is that you don't have the emotional attachment to the person driving you insanity. If you keep the emotion out of it, keep the message simple, on task, and easy to understand, it makes it much easier on both you and the other person.

    Mikey
     
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Maybe, just maybe, the sweet young new supervisor is trying to
    demonstrate that she knows the latest buzz words! LOL. DDD
     
  9. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Sorry, I just re-read the original post. I thought you were now in charge of a difficult person, which is why I answered the way I did. Skipped completely over the "self-improvement" part.

    Helps to RTFP. Boy, does being diagnosis with ADD SUCK!

    Sorry for the confusion.

    Mikey
     
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SunnyFlorida</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Help...I know this is watercooler stuff, but if I put it there I'll never get back to it.

    New 20yr younger supervisor wants me (as well as her other employees) to come up with our personal action plan to improve our communication with each other. I'm now controlling and a difficult person. Never mind that it takes another co-worker over 10weeks to address a request I made!

    What self improvement things can I write that will suffice as an "action plan". I started typing one but would like some input from you all. </div></div>Wow. That happened to me one time. Got this new manager with a head full of the latest mgmt fads. Day one she wanted a "G&O (Goals and Objectives) Action Plan" (same book as your new supervisor, eh?) with at least five goals and five objectives, one paragraph each. (Never did find out what the difference is between goals and objectives.) I turned in some boilerplate.

    At our hour-long meeting to discuss the G&O Action Plan I made the mistake of saying, in response to a question on what complaints I had, that spending all this time defining Gs and Os distracted from accomplishing my main G&O, namely, doing my actual job well.

    It all turned out for the best. I liked my new job better and it paid more, too. And Miss G&O got canned about 18 months later because the department pretty much fell to pieces under her "leadership", which I kind of felt proved my point.
     
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