Coolant. Low. On. Coolant.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Had a shoot this weekend. Obviously, I can' t ride, but cgfg did. Went, had a good time, kept time for the club, etc etc etc.

    I am not quite up to camping in the horse trailer, so we took the new truck and the old truck and the camper. I've just been behind the wheel of the truck for a week or slightly longer now.

    Wind was 30mph today. I was fighting it awful hard with that camper. 85 degrees. Look down and my truck is redlined. 230+ degrees.

    I put it in neutral, flipped on the hazards, shut it off, and coasted to the shoulder. Popped the hood, and what do I see?

    I FEED SACK. husband PUT A &^%$&^*#@(!!!!!! FEED SACK in front of the radiator this winter while I was unable to be up and about and "forgot".

    Pulled that sack out and called my mechanic friend and asked the best way to cool it quickly. Did as directed and it cooled down. No apparent damage done, but blown gaskets may take a while to show up. Made it home, tho.

    husband, tho, was just ahead of me and stopped with me. This happened at 3pm. Not a single utterance of any semblance of an "I'm sorry I forgot about that". NOTHING. In fact, he acted more like he was ****** because he expected me to be ****** at him. Very defensive.

    I am losing my coolant....

    Nope, nope...correction. I have lost my coolant.
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    Argh.. I'm just glad you're safe.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I have driven that truck several times now alone. Only a few pulling a trailer, but that's kinda beside the point. Purposefully inhibiting the radiator's ability to cool is not something you "forget" and then go stick your just-now-able-to-walk wife in to drive up and down the road. I have been to our Amish friend's house in that truck 3 times and that's 60 miles from home.

    He left the gate shut last night, so the team have been in a lot with no hay all night, and the rest of the liivestock has been locked out of the lot with no water since 5pm yesterday...I find them because I went out to put the blanket on rainrot pony....grrrrr
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...he's really on a roll, isn't he?
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Not even the half of it....
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well.............let's look at the bright side here........

    At least it was not full of feed.....and you didn't sustain THAT loss.

    OMGROFLMoatsOff <------done in colors to help you keep cool, cool thoughts.

    Only you girl.........oooooooooooooonly you.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Seriously... Wow, I swear...

    Is your feed dry? It was out of the rain, right?

    The good news is... The weather's been pretty cold. So that's why you hadn't had a problem.

    I'd be out of coolant, myself...
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What....? How could....? mmmrrttt....?


    Is this guy for real????

    Didn't he grow up on a farm? Shouldn't checking the welfare of the animals be second-nature to him?

    And who in the world puts a feed sack over the radiator? Was that some sort of attempt to protect it from really cold temps over the winter?

    I. Don't. Get. It.

    ( that your butt-kicking foot that is injured? What happens when you recover?)
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Yes, feed dry and all well there. It was an empty sack he had worked down between the grill and the radiator. Keeps air from getting to he radiator so it will warm up quicker. Fine and dandy. Have done it once myself. But you dont go and forget about it when the temps reach 85! (it was 85 yesterday! And I looked under the hood but ya know, ya just don't go looking for something crammed in the space between the grill and radiator on your own vehicle...)
    Omg I'm livid. And there's more.'
    I took the day off. Going to get a pedicure, I think, before
  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh yea df he did...
    easy child 1 used our enclosed trailer to move this weekend. The carpet in the dressing room had gotten damp over the winter, so while husband was off doing something else yesterday, I opened the windows to air it out while it's empty. Went back at 11 to close them. husband already had. Which means he'd gone by to check it out and make sure
    easy child 1 left it in appropriate order. Can't take care of his own ****, but checking up on easy child 1.
    Dang man left the animals like that, not to mention rain rot pony and why he needs a blanket, is at least semi responsible for getting dangerously close to blowing up vehicle number 4, sent his almost 1 legged wife into Amish country multiple times in said vehicle (and what happens when I break down up there? I walk to their house and then what? No phones. Limited cell. Gonna give me a horse to ride to get cell service to call for help?'or maybe they'll take me in the buggy????? )And he has the gonads to go check up on the adult kid?
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2011
  11. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    I think he would have a feed sack on his head by now! LOL And I wouldn't even cut eye holes in it.
  12. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Sheri, you have a lot of friends and family who love you, respect you, and don't take you for granted for a second. You deserve that because you are a compassionate, loving, kind person. However, it doesn't seem you get that from your H and that really is his loss.
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Or air holes...
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wouldn't be up hiw head if I were you!

    Shari, I don't mean to upset you or make you feel like you have to justify ANY relationship you choose to have. I am sure you only post a fraction of the problems of this nature that you and husband create. Yes, YOU and husband. relationships are choices. Have you ever explored with a therapist exactly WHY you are in a marriage with this man? If he were great all around I could understand tolerating the inlaws. Fact is, at least from what you have posted here, he isn't close to great by a heck of a lot. I KNOW you feel wee should have a father figure, and that this is not an easy thing to even think about. Esp now while you are still recovering.

    in my opinion this action was just neglectful or careless, it really shows how he feels about YOU. Is that what you want from a partner? Someone who will go off if your adult child doesn't do something perfectly and yet won't do even very simple, basic things to help himself and even fewer things to show ANY consideration for you? he could have KILLED you with that radiator stunt. He likely will do, or something else equally awful in the near future.

    If this is what you want in a husband, that is your chioce and I will fully and completely support you in it. If you choose to leave, I will also fully and completely support you. Please get an appointment with a therapist or counselor to talk about this. There are reasons that you are with a man who does these things on an extremely regular (constant? consistant?) basis. Before the appointment, think about the good and bad in your relationship - write it out on papaer. Think about your ideal spouse and write that out to. Then think about why you are willing to settle/tolerate husband when he is clearly NOT meeting YOUR needs. The accident was, I am sure, a huge wakeup call for you. Do you want to look back on your life and be glad you grabbed for the brass ring, or that you chose to stay with someone who doesn't truly care and value you?

    You do NOT have to reply to this, but I would like you to at least think about it.
  16. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Susie, even if your post ****** me off, that would be ok! lol

    But it doesn't.

    I have gone back to a counselor, and am going to attempt to get husband to go. I honestly doubt he will. Honestly, I think the marriage is over.

    Thing is, he didn't used to be this way. The hope I cling to is that somehow he can find his way back to that guy....but so far, he hasn't even attempted.

    I pretty much put it on the line Saturday, either he started stepping up, or I would start making changes. This place looks more and more like his folks' place every day, and I will NOT live like that. And I will not continue to support every flippin thing here. Either he steps up, or I will reduce my workload. If that includes him....then we will not have a camper, horses, or trucks. If it includes campers, horses, and trucks, it won't include him. I don't think he realizes how serious I am, but he's very close to seeing it....I promise you that.

    As you know, I am friends with his sister's ex husband and his new wife. New wife really thinks now that husband is the only "man" in the family, he doesn't have any competition to hold onto his golden boy status with mama and daddy.... And I'm not so sure she's not on to something. And as he holds a higher position with them, he takes on more and more of their attitudes. And I've seen that in night when I tried to discuss the vehicle maintenance, he said he was sorry his family wasn't rich like mine. Couple weeks later, my friend who owns the cafe said his parents had been in there before husband said that to me, ranting and raving about how I was a spoiled rich kid. Which I totally don't get, beings that I am the one attempting to keep old stuff going so I don't have to spend money to replace it and he's the one that doesn't care. But really, I'm standing there saying "you have to take care of stuff" and he says "I'm sorry my family isn't rich like yours"? Where does that even come from???

    I have told him that I am not, and never will be (and not by my choice) a HisLastName. I am a third wheel in the relationship between him and his parents, and I've told them all it will not continue.

    He no longer contributes much financially to the family. He contributes next to nothing in labor and workload and actually creates more work for me. He has blown up more cars in the past 3 years than I have gotten rid of and replaced in the past 25...and all of them still ran. And he only accepts minimal responsibility for one of them. (he put his truck in a bind and broke the transmission case - on a transmission that was less than 3 years old, the transmission was so worn, it was not worth rebuilding). The other 2 he drove for over a year without ever changing the oil in them and claims no responsibility for those overheating and blowing head gaskets.

    Its really close to over. I just haven't posted all the gory details. But thank you, Susie. I'm on it, but if I wasn't, I needed to hear that!

    And I guess it might be diff if his whole family wasn't so awful. He intends to take over their "farm" when they pass on, and frankly, I think their attitude towards me being a non-involved person in that place that by the time that happens, it will be ingrained in husband as well, and will never change. But I really see that being the way it goes unless it changes long before then...and i'd like to build our own know, build a house of our own on our own place...not just wait for mom and dad to croak...
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2011
  17. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'd think he's proven by now he's not capable of taking care of it. Always said husbands are like an extra kid. Maybe a bit of kicking him out of the nest would do wonders.
  18. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Actually, he is capable. He works on their tractors, feeds their cows when they are gone or the weather is bad, and does all of their hay (cutting, baling, loading, etc). He borrowd their bumper hitch trailer for this weekend and my God it HAD to be home ASAP when we got back. He won't do the same here.

    And I don't know if it is because I won't allow he and his parents to make decisions about the place without my input anymore, or he's not "iinvested" in this place because he doesn't plan to live here forever, or if he's just decided to walk all over me, but something's gonna give.
  19. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I guess I should add that mom and dad intend for husband and sister to take the farm. husband is bad enough, but 41 year old sis still can't pay her own bills, either. Mama buys her groceries regularly (she lives in a trailer behind his parents' house - trailer is paid for, by the way) The thought of being a part of that as it exists now just makes me ill....neither of those 2 make their own way the heck are they supposed to keep a cattle farm going, let alone pay the property taxes on it???
  20. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'll bet that is it. His parent's place is THE farm....everything else is just temporary...or your little "project"....not THE business.