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Coping with addicted, homeless adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 764958" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>Dad34, I am not so good with learning how to quote nor do I write as wonderful as all of you do.<img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="☺️" title="Smiling face :relaxed:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/263a.png" data-shortname=":relaxed:" /> Just wanted to say how this touched me, your pain is so evident for both you and her. We have made mistakes in the past, God is the only perfect one so we should not put so much weight on what we did or did not do. I have heard from so many, even a judge when I was in court with her, they said others in her shoes could only wish for the love and support she has. From the book…..</p><p></p><p>“The bitter truth for many of us is that we haven’t been helping; we’ve been enabling. So instead of praying to God to stop the pain, remove the difficulty, or change the lives of our adult children, we must rise up and pray for something entirely different. We must pray for the courage to look deep in our own hearts and souls. We must pray for the strength to begin a journey that quite possibly may change our own lives—and pray for the wisdom to make new choices. Making new choices won’t always be easy. We’ve been repeating the same patterns for years, but now we need to ask ourselves what rewards we’re getting from enabling our adult children. What need is this fulfilling in our lives? Quite simply, we must identify our own issues.”</p><p></p><p>This book was a big deal to me, the focus is on God above all but, my enabling. When I recognized the whys of what I did it was a huge moment for me. My own mother was an enabler, my father an alcoholic. Thinking of my own past I could pinpoint the exact issues which lead me to do as I do today. Am also a co-dependent to both my children, they are my life. Breaking free of these behaviors is difficult and in essence re-writing my own history. It’s baby steps at the moment, one step forward - 2 back but each step I declare victory nonetheless. </p><p></p><p>I do not mind at all you speaking of God, He has gotten me through so many horrible situations in my life….I would not be here today if it were not for Him. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs! <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 764958, member: 32799"] Dad34, I am not so good with learning how to quote nor do I write as wonderful as all of you do.☺️ Just wanted to say how this touched me, your pain is so evident for both you and her. We have made mistakes in the past, God is the only perfect one so we should not put so much weight on what we did or did not do. I have heard from so many, even a judge when I was in court with her, they said others in her shoes could only wish for the love and support she has. From the book….. “The bitter truth for many of us is that we haven’t been helping; we’ve been enabling. So instead of praying to God to stop the pain, remove the difficulty, or change the lives of our adult children, we must rise up and pray for something entirely different. We must pray for the courage to look deep in our own hearts and souls. We must pray for the strength to begin a journey that quite possibly may change our own lives—and pray for the wisdom to make new choices. Making new choices won’t always be easy. We’ve been repeating the same patterns for years, but now we need to ask ourselves what rewards we’re getting from enabling our adult children. What need is this fulfilling in our lives? Quite simply, we must identify our own issues.” This book was a big deal to me, the focus is on God above all but, my enabling. When I recognized the whys of what I did it was a huge moment for me. My own mother was an enabler, my father an alcoholic. Thinking of my own past I could pinpoint the exact issues which lead me to do as I do today. Am also a co-dependent to both my children, they are my life. Breaking free of these behaviors is difficult and in essence re-writing my own history. It’s baby steps at the moment, one step forward - 2 back but each step I declare victory nonetheless. I do not mind at all you speaking of God, He has gotten me through so many horrible situations in my life….I would not be here today if it were not for Him. Big hugs! ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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