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Parent Emeritus
Coping with adult daughter Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 711837" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Kathryn,</p><p></p><p>I am in the same boat as you, and my prayers and thoughts are with you. I understand how hard it is to hold the line. I have a 36 year old borderline daughter with a 5 year old and now a 3 month old. She does not take any advice, but then uses FOG - fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate me. When I keep my boundaries, I am filled with tremendous anxiety because she is in danger of becoming homeless and, I imagine, likely to lose her children. When I give in and use my $ and also allow her to live with me, I am filled with resentment because she is verbally abusive. Either way, I feel as you do that it is 'killing me' as you say. This time she has left another a abuser and says that I should be proud of her for leaving, when in truth I told her she was making a very bad choice choosing to be with him and have another child. She just called me while I was writing this, then had to 'go' and said she would call back, and I feel sick to my stomach. I am 64, and this is not the life imagined. You will be in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 711837, member: 19832"] Kathryn, I am in the same boat as you, and my prayers and thoughts are with you. I understand how hard it is to hold the line. I have a 36 year old borderline daughter with a 5 year old and now a 3 month old. She does not take any advice, but then uses FOG - fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate me. When I keep my boundaries, I am filled with tremendous anxiety because she is in danger of becoming homeless and, I imagine, likely to lose her children. When I give in and use my $ and also allow her to live with me, I am filled with resentment because she is verbally abusive. Either way, I feel as you do that it is 'killing me' as you say. This time she has left another a abuser and says that I should be proud of her for leaving, when in truth I told her she was making a very bad choice choosing to be with him and have another child. She just called me while I was writing this, then had to 'go' and said she would call back, and I feel sick to my stomach. I am 64, and this is not the life imagined. You will be in my thoughts. Take care of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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Coping with adult daughter Borderline (BPD)
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