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Parent Emeritus
Coping with Gossip in the Family
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 623743" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Stressy, that sounds like it really hurts. I felt a surge of raw emotion too, when I read your post. You are at a big crux in your relationship with JT and how you want to move forward in that, and you're raw all over right now. It seems to me that maybe what you crave more than ever is to not even THINK about JT right now, even if it is just for a little while. I think you have every right to say to the people in your life that you don't want to talk TO or ABOUT JT right now. </p><p></p><p>The other part, about your sister telling your parents about the FB posts, I don't know why she did that. Some people like to create drama, or maybe it is (misguided) concern on her part. Maybe as your sister she is hurting right along with you and needs to process it, or maybe she sees it as being more firmly on your side. Maybe, not being the parent of a difficult child, she is thinking that the right combination of influences will fix things.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how to get the rest of the family to stop talking about JT but I will tell you what worked for me. All I did was obsessively ruminate ad nauseum 24/7, to the point that I chased them all off and they were afraid to so much as mention difficult child's name again! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 623743, member: 17720"] Stressy, that sounds like it really hurts. I felt a surge of raw emotion too, when I read your post. You are at a big crux in your relationship with JT and how you want to move forward in that, and you're raw all over right now. It seems to me that maybe what you crave more than ever is to not even THINK about JT right now, even if it is just for a little while. I think you have every right to say to the people in your life that you don't want to talk TO or ABOUT JT right now. The other part, about your sister telling your parents about the FB posts, I don't know why she did that. Some people like to create drama, or maybe it is (misguided) concern on her part. Maybe as your sister she is hurting right along with you and needs to process it, or maybe she sees it as being more firmly on your side. Maybe, not being the parent of a difficult child, she is thinking that the right combination of influences will fix things. I don't know how to get the rest of the family to stop talking about JT but I will tell you what worked for me. All I did was obsessively ruminate ad nauseum 24/7, to the point that I chased them all off and they were afraid to so much as mention difficult child's name again! :D [/QUOTE]
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