PlainJane
Every dog has his day....
I want Occupational Therapist (OT) know if anyone feels like I do, and how you deal with it and not take it out on difficult child. difficult child is on clonidine in the evening, but really it comes down to his personality. I've talking about it before. There's just a constant need to argue, Its not that he's being specific (like an Aspie) and correcting people, or being literally. We moved beyond that as a cause. He is just an oppositional child. He aruges things and if he is allowed to get his way, he will switch positions to keep arguing. Its not about winning, it about arguing. It like he love it.
He says such mean things, A LOT. I can't understand how he can behave this way. I know we don't want to talk personality disorder, but that's exactly what he's like, living with a almost 6 y/o borderline. THe way he percieved reality, the way he acts. I've read into this extensively over the years because my own mother has it. Also husband sister and late grandma fit it as well as some NPD traits.
Even this morning, I served my younger sons breakfast before mine and difficult child (because we were having a cooked food and my little one was having cereal). But I nearly always serve all the breakfasts together. Ahd difficult child starts yelling "why do you always serve me last?? Where's my food?"
Or I might be singing a song and difficult child will tell me "stop singing that I don't like that song" and I'll say "ok" (I let him win.) And IMMEDIATELY he starts screaming franticly "no no I like that song sing it sing it!!!" and I tell him, "no you asked me to stop." or I might say as this happens often with various things "I don't want to sing anymore" and it will send him into a freaking out rage yellnig at me to sing it...he follows me around the house screaming.
He is rude to others, just plan rude. He is manipulative and lies even when there's nothing to gain. I want to see the good in him, I'm his mom for god sakes and I have a hard time being around him for more than 10 minutes. Even hubby feels the same way. difficult child is just so mean and angry and just looks for ways to upset people.
I feel aweful. I feel like we are supposed to be his support, his unconditional love, and to encourage him and com;liment him no matter what. We are supposed to build his self esteem...but we just avoid him because even the smallest interact ends in him looking to fight.
EVERYTHING WE SAY HE MUST CONTRADICT / ARGUE / SAY THE OPPOSITE OR SOMETHING NEGATIVE.
And we are all mentally and emotionally drained from it. THe scariest part is he KNOWS he does it and can control it around certain people...the manipulation is scary...
If I say something nice to him about him (you are a really nice boy) i feel like I'm lying. And how do I say that when we don't get through 10 minute without him fighting with someone around him. Even our 3 y/o is getting olde enough where he doesnt want to be around difficult child. He tells him to go away , or tries to play alone, and difficult child follows him and my little one gets upset.
How can a child be born so angry? How can he get pleasure from manipulating others and fighting? I just don't get it. What do we do? I know he's getting otrasized at school, we've met with the school and he tells me. But when he tells me he tells it as though he's the perfect little boy (literally leaves out whole pieces of info related to his behavoir) and says that other kids just harass him. But I've met with the school and observed him in class, and kids just don't like him. How can I expect his peers to like him when his own family is happier when he's not home??
I'm so scared because this will only get worse. He will begin to feel alone in the world, I think in a way he already has. He gets very upset when he's alone, he has nightmares frequently about all horribel things. And I'm afraid he's goin to end up committed suicide as a teen or getting into drug or alcohol to "deal" with these feelings...
But when ever I try to explain to him, do social stories, walk him through being nicer. he just acts like he's normal and everyone else is out to get him. I know he's 5, but has no insight into this, not even the tiniest bit. I don't know what to do....
He says such mean things, A LOT. I can't understand how he can behave this way. I know we don't want to talk personality disorder, but that's exactly what he's like, living with a almost 6 y/o borderline. THe way he percieved reality, the way he acts. I've read into this extensively over the years because my own mother has it. Also husband sister and late grandma fit it as well as some NPD traits.
Even this morning, I served my younger sons breakfast before mine and difficult child (because we were having a cooked food and my little one was having cereal). But I nearly always serve all the breakfasts together. Ahd difficult child starts yelling "why do you always serve me last?? Where's my food?"
Or I might be singing a song and difficult child will tell me "stop singing that I don't like that song" and I'll say "ok" (I let him win.) And IMMEDIATELY he starts screaming franticly "no no I like that song sing it sing it!!!" and I tell him, "no you asked me to stop." or I might say as this happens often with various things "I don't want to sing anymore" and it will send him into a freaking out rage yellnig at me to sing it...he follows me around the house screaming.
He is rude to others, just plan rude. He is manipulative and lies even when there's nothing to gain. I want to see the good in him, I'm his mom for god sakes and I have a hard time being around him for more than 10 minutes. Even hubby feels the same way. difficult child is just so mean and angry and just looks for ways to upset people.
I feel aweful. I feel like we are supposed to be his support, his unconditional love, and to encourage him and com;liment him no matter what. We are supposed to build his self esteem...but we just avoid him because even the smallest interact ends in him looking to fight.
EVERYTHING WE SAY HE MUST CONTRADICT / ARGUE / SAY THE OPPOSITE OR SOMETHING NEGATIVE.
And we are all mentally and emotionally drained from it. THe scariest part is he KNOWS he does it and can control it around certain people...the manipulation is scary...
If I say something nice to him about him (you are a really nice boy) i feel like I'm lying. And how do I say that when we don't get through 10 minute without him fighting with someone around him. Even our 3 y/o is getting olde enough where he doesnt want to be around difficult child. He tells him to go away , or tries to play alone, and difficult child follows him and my little one gets upset.
How can a child be born so angry? How can he get pleasure from manipulating others and fighting? I just don't get it. What do we do? I know he's getting otrasized at school, we've met with the school and he tells me. But when he tells me he tells it as though he's the perfect little boy (literally leaves out whole pieces of info related to his behavoir) and says that other kids just harass him. But I've met with the school and observed him in class, and kids just don't like him. How can I expect his peers to like him when his own family is happier when he's not home??
I'm so scared because this will only get worse. He will begin to feel alone in the world, I think in a way he already has. He gets very upset when he's alone, he has nightmares frequently about all horribel things. And I'm afraid he's goin to end up committed suicide as a teen or getting into drug or alcohol to "deal" with these feelings...
But when ever I try to explain to him, do social stories, walk him through being nicer. he just acts like he's normal and everyone else is out to get him. I know he's 5, but has no insight into this, not even the tiniest bit. I don't know what to do....