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Could someone please explain my difficult child to me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 356684" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I agree totally. We teach our kids how to treat us, and in turn how to treat others as well. Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally.</p><p></p><p>You and husband have <em><strong>got</strong></em> to draw the line in the sand over her blatant disrespect for both you and your personal property. Or it will never ever end, and in fact get worse. And she will never learn a very basic concept that will help her function in the world at large.</p><p></p><p>If Nichole had done such a thing to me I'd have boldly laughed in her face. Seriously.</p><p></p><p>I don't loan my kids money with rare exception. One is gas to get to work, and only if I know they are doing their best to budget. ( a person has to keep a job) If they're going hungry I may make up a huge meal and invite them to dinner. If sick I may run out and buy a medication to help them feel better, then again I may not depends on the circumstances. I never pay bills. I never buy groceries. I never buy clothing. I don't do carpayments, insurance payments, rent payments. </p><p></p><p>My kids know what I will do/what I won't do before they even ask. If it is something I won't do, they just don't ask. Instead they find a way to help themselves....or ask me ways to find help for their situation.</p><p></p><p>Many young people expect to start out life on their own in exactly the same financial/social status they were in at their parents house. Unless you've stayed at home while getting a degree or training for a well paying job, gotten that job, saved money ect.........real life just does not work that way. And it's a rude and scary eye opener to many. So they turn back to their parents to "fix" it for them because they haven't a clue how to do it themselves. They don't realize that their parents didn't start off their lives with what they have acquired by the time their children are grown and leaving the nest.</p><p></p><p>Nichole's boyfriend is this way. His parents were high middle class, if not upper class. The boy never did without anything in his entire life, got everything he wanted. He's having a really hard time realizing that a person who is unemployed doesn't plan a vacation to Montana, even if they have money in savings, because there is rent to pay, utilities to cover and food to buy. ugh He's starting to "get it" but it is a slow process. If it weren't for Nichole growing up fairly poor and knowing how to do without and where to go for resources ect, they'd be in big time trouble. He's not a stupid kid by a long shot, just immature and naive about how the world works. I thought he was going to stroke when they got their 1st electric bill. LOL He had no clue what his parents paid........and he swore theirs had to be a mistake until I pointed out he had left on all the lights, computer, gaming systems, air conditioning.......all the time even if they weren't at home. Told him if he wanted to complain he could pay mine and showed it to him. He was astounded! lol</p><p></p><p>They don't get it until real life makes them get it, and until we as parents step back and let the lessons be learned. After spending a lifetime caring for them, this isn't as easy to do as it sounds sometimes, but it is something we should work hard on.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 356684, member: 84"] I agree totally. We teach our kids how to treat us, and in turn how to treat others as well. Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally. You and husband have [I][B]got[/B][/I] to draw the line in the sand over her blatant disrespect for both you and your personal property. Or it will never ever end, and in fact get worse. And she will never learn a very basic concept that will help her function in the world at large. If Nichole had done such a thing to me I'd have boldly laughed in her face. Seriously. I don't loan my kids money with rare exception. One is gas to get to work, and only if I know they are doing their best to budget. ( a person has to keep a job) If they're going hungry I may make up a huge meal and invite them to dinner. If sick I may run out and buy a medication to help them feel better, then again I may not depends on the circumstances. I never pay bills. I never buy groceries. I never buy clothing. I don't do carpayments, insurance payments, rent payments. My kids know what I will do/what I won't do before they even ask. If it is something I won't do, they just don't ask. Instead they find a way to help themselves....or ask me ways to find help for their situation. Many young people expect to start out life on their own in exactly the same financial/social status they were in at their parents house. Unless you've stayed at home while getting a degree or training for a well paying job, gotten that job, saved money ect.........real life just does not work that way. And it's a rude and scary eye opener to many. So they turn back to their parents to "fix" it for them because they haven't a clue how to do it themselves. They don't realize that their parents didn't start off their lives with what they have acquired by the time their children are grown and leaving the nest. Nichole's boyfriend is this way. His parents were high middle class, if not upper class. The boy never did without anything in his entire life, got everything he wanted. He's having a really hard time realizing that a person who is unemployed doesn't plan a vacation to Montana, even if they have money in savings, because there is rent to pay, utilities to cover and food to buy. ugh He's starting to "get it" but it is a slow process. If it weren't for Nichole growing up fairly poor and knowing how to do without and where to go for resources ect, they'd be in big time trouble. He's not a stupid kid by a long shot, just immature and naive about how the world works. I thought he was going to stroke when they got their 1st electric bill. LOL He had no clue what his parents paid........and he swore theirs had to be a mistake until I pointed out he had left on all the lights, computer, gaming systems, air conditioning.......all the time even if they weren't at home. Told him if he wanted to complain he could pay mine and showed it to him. He was astounded! lol They don't get it until real life makes them get it, and until we as parents step back and let the lessons be learned. After spending a lifetime caring for them, this isn't as easy to do as it sounds sometimes, but it is something we should work hard on. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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Could someone please explain my difficult child to me?
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