Lately. I feel as if I have no patience or tolerance whatsoever for stupidity or negligence, ignorance or meanness. I lash out, I mean, to strangers. The other day H and I stopped at a local market after taking the dogs to the state park. Before we left, I pulled the little pup out to pee - far from store, on a mulched median (she didn't even go) - and as I was getting back into the car, I glanced up to see a woman getting out of her car, glaring at me and shaking her head at me, as if I'd done some awful thing. Just as I yelled from inside the car, "What are YOU shaking YOUR head at?!", H hit the gas and pulled away. I looked back and she was then standing with her arms crossed, still shaking her head at me. I flipped her off. What is WRONG with me?? Why couldn't I just have let it roll off - that's what I'm always preaching to others about! Even H was surprised at my snap reaction, asking me if I was about to jump out of the car to start something. Well, the truth is I would have if he hadn't hit the gas! This morning, I stopped at the Mobil on the way to work to grab a coffee. As I pull in behind this big box truck, going to make my left to the parking area, he stops, turns off the truck and parks it. Okay, so I glance to my right and there are two cars at the pumps and a landscaping truck parked along the back wall - barely enough space to pass through. So I honk lightly at the box truck guy and motion for him to move it along, I swear I was being nice at this point, and he yells at me while gesturing to his location that he "IS PARKING RIGHT HERE IN THIS SPOT!!!". So I immediately feel my blood being to boil, make my way past the two cars at the pumps, squeeze through the damned landscaping truck and park in the ONLY handicapped spot there (okay, so I was making a point!). As I walk in, we come face to face and I say to him, loud enough for 6 other patrons to hear, "You're a bit of a JERK. Did you hear me, JERK?" and move on to get my coffee. Jerk says nothing, just glances at me as if trying to somehow find cover. So I take it a bit further, "Oh, big man outside, but not so brave in here in front of all these people huh?" OMG, where is this coming from?? So then he says, "you should be mad at that other guy, I have a right to park there"...by now I'm shaking and just so ANGRY. Then he says, "I just came in to get a coke and a donut - you gonna be mad at me for that?" I tell him I don't give a sh!t what he's eating for breakfast, that he is a rude man and should consider inhabiting some courtesy for others. Then he made a big show about having me go ahead of him in line. I said no thanks, but ended up not having a choice as he and his apparent cohort who both snickered at my tantrum moved to the side. Whatever, I paid, gimped out to my handicapped spot and left. I hope he saw where I was parked or the tag or something. But.....my question is: Why am I like this all of a sudden?? It's been creeping up on me for about a year or so, and at times it's barely apparent but at others, OMG, watch the heck out people. And at complete strangers who mayber were a little rude or clueless, but certainly not criminals! I will need to ask my therapist about this. Lately, I am often appalled at my responses to people. I noticed easy child is like that sometimes, so maybe it's not hormones, but still, shocking. I'm afraid of what I may say to mother in law during her visit coming up,oh heavens! I may actually tell her what I think of her~~~lol.