hi
i put a post up about easy child. I need a little input.... i'm pretty sure the direction i want to go in yet i guess i'm just a bit on the fence.
easy child as you know is now in therapy, on an ssri, was picked up for shoplifting about a mos ago, she;s been exhibiting alot of defiant behaviors past year etc.
so, here we are doing all we can for her, yet this weekend she chose not to return home even when we asked her nicely she was nasty and defiant. she walked in late tonight after being gone since yesterday morning. had to have cops here again last night, etc. this time i was worried because there was no "lead up" she just flipped the script on me.
so this is what i've done so far:
I took her labtop away
i also told her we are no longer handing her money for lunch or weekend money. she's using it for lunch yet also for alcohol and cigarettes. we got cold cuts and i told her you can make a sandwich.
i've decided i'll speak to her tmrw. i let her sneak in tonight. i dont' want to stir the pot with difficult child just walking in.
i think tough love is necessary here. i mean i get she's got problems yet we're doing our job and sh'es just walking all over us and me again.
so i was thinking i should tell her your grounded
suspend her cell phone
not give her any money whatsoever
not supply her with a car for september college. she can take the bus to get there
no graduation party; this one kills me because we had something nice in mind for her
am i overdoing it? it just seems like to me at least if i dont' get very tough on her now she'll walk all over me for years to come. she doesnt' seem to get that telling off your mom and doing what she did and drinking in our home by the way when i was out in the city with a friend just isnt' ok.
only problem is i can do all that, yet i have to give an incentive to push her to behave? wouldnt' you think?
all and any ideas are welcome
thanks
i put a post up about easy child. I need a little input.... i'm pretty sure the direction i want to go in yet i guess i'm just a bit on the fence.
easy child as you know is now in therapy, on an ssri, was picked up for shoplifting about a mos ago, she;s been exhibiting alot of defiant behaviors past year etc.
so, here we are doing all we can for her, yet this weekend she chose not to return home even when we asked her nicely she was nasty and defiant. she walked in late tonight after being gone since yesterday morning. had to have cops here again last night, etc. this time i was worried because there was no "lead up" she just flipped the script on me.
so this is what i've done so far:
I took her labtop away
i also told her we are no longer handing her money for lunch or weekend money. she's using it for lunch yet also for alcohol and cigarettes. we got cold cuts and i told her you can make a sandwich.
i've decided i'll speak to her tmrw. i let her sneak in tonight. i dont' want to stir the pot with difficult child just walking in.
i think tough love is necessary here. i mean i get she's got problems yet we're doing our job and sh'es just walking all over us and me again.
so i was thinking i should tell her your grounded
suspend her cell phone
not give her any money whatsoever
not supply her with a car for september college. she can take the bus to get there
no graduation party; this one kills me because we had something nice in mind for her
am i overdoing it? it just seems like to me at least if i dont' get very tough on her now she'll walk all over me for years to come. she doesnt' seem to get that telling off your mom and doing what she did and drinking in our home by the way when i was out in the city with a friend just isnt' ok.
only problem is i can do all that, yet i have to give an incentive to push her to behave? wouldnt' you think?
all and any ideas are welcome
thanks