Could use some good thoughts

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by seriously, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. seriously

    seriously New Member

    I am on the verge of a full blown manic episode here and would appreciate a few beads being rattled here and there.

    I've had a period of several months of relative stability and it's ending with a bang. Weeping, raging, euphoria, borderline psychotic stuff (everything sounds really, really loud, even the wind in my ears when I'm out walking and the darn birds singing), physical agitation (didn't know I could ride an exercise bike that fast) - you name it, I've had it in the past 4 days. Slept about 1 hour last night despite medications and only 4 hours the night before that.

    Talked to psychiatrist today and I'm loading on the Xanex in hopes that I'll sleep tonight and that will help my brain calm down.

    I was really worried earlier today that I might have to go into the hospital. If my son was having these sx that's where he'd be if I could get him admitted.

    But I have always managed to stay out of the hospital and really don't want to start now. Truly bad timing.

    But I am a little better tonight after taking some Xanex a little while ago and am now heading off to bed.

    Sweet dreams to all of us,

  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thinking about you! As you can see I've been having some trouble sleeping lately too.
    As another with Bipolar Disorder you know we have to be careful with little sleep or eating...the mania as it can lead to a psychotic breakdown.

    I hope you are resting at this moment...hoping the xanax is helping.
    Please have someone take you to the hospital if manic symptoms continue as it can be dangerous.

    Hugs and prayers,
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Sending good thoughts and gentle {{{hugs}}} your way. Kudos to you for recognizing the symptoms. My mother had bipolar and she would never give up the high from the mania (which would ultimately lead to a crash and hospitalization). You're obviously very in tune with yourself and understand you can't do all you need to do if you are manic/psychotic.
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Sending good thoughts to you too. I admire your ability to speak to your doctor when needed and I hope you got some much needed rest and that you are feeling more balanced today. (((hugs)))
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Sending good thought and hugs your way.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I have my fingers crossed and am sending supportive thoughts your way. DDD
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    Sending calming thoughts your way.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    (Quietly) rattling beads for you.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    For Seriously from Star

    Once a gentle wind did blow across my fleeting time.
    Serentiy and kinder things I know once danced upon my mind.
    Then as if the clock struck a tone it all began to change
    My mind begins so slowly at first as if to rearrange.
    The wind now screams the birds don't sing
    I try to shut them out
    My peaceful mood is not in tune
    Lord can't you hear me shout?

    Take this away, I don't know why, I'm put together like this
    Oh how I long for the vortex inside
    To return to that calm, quiet bliss.
    Today I ask once more before I completely fall apart
    For my friends to think of me in prayer and keep me in their heart.

    And you bet that's what I've done and will be doing dear -
    Be well
    Much Love -
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear, I am so sorry. I'm hoping that the Xanax works and that you get a full 8 hours of sleep.

    Star, did you write that? Wonderful!
  11. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    You have my prayers, husband has BiPolar (BP). It's a nightmare when the medications don't work. Hope you can find some calm.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You have my prayers too.........I have watched Matt for 20 years, and his father before that struggle with this beast.........I hope that you are able to tame soon. I know how hard it must be.
  13. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. More kudos for realizing and treating your symptoms. from another whose husband is bipolar, It sucks. Last weekend my husband finally took extra tegretol when he was so wound up even he could not take it. He was liking the feeling untill he finally felt out of control. Hoping the xanax works, and try to do what you can to minimize stimilation.
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope you're able to stabilize soon. Many hugs.
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    PJ - I hope you are feeling a bit better today and were able to get a few more hours of sleep. And if not, I hope you don't wait any longer trying to deal with this on your own. Call your psychiatrist and get something PRN, or failing that, have wife take you to the nearest ER. Don't try to tough it out -- you know how badly that could end. She can manage with the kids for a day or so, but none of them can manage without you.

    (((Many hugs and prayers for some relief)))
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey...hope all is well. I guess by now you know I am also bipolar. I am glad you are also able to know yourself well enough to be able to tell whats up with you. Kuddo's.

    If Xanax is something that helps you overall, might I suggest asking your doctor about the XanaxER for the next few months maybe since it seems like your son is having some rather severe issues and if you are like me, your bipolar might feed off his symptoms. I know I always got worse when Cory was acting up worse. Just an idea.
  17. seriously

    seriously New Member

    Thanks everyone for your good thoughts.

    I did get to sleep about 8 hours courtesy of 4 doses of Xanax (they were only .25 mg tabs so that's only 1 mg for those of you who know about Xanax dosage and might be alarmed at 4 doses!)

    I am very woozy this morning but feel better as long as there isn't too much stimulation. Tried to clean the pool filters and found myself getting very intense about it and feeling kind of wild and HAPPY again.

    So no more cleaning the pool filters for now. :) :) :)

    It is very strange to feel drugged/hung over and still feel like I'm buzzing inside somewhere. In the past I've just waited it out when I got like this but gvcmom is right - I have to be "on" all the time right now because difficult child 2 is so unpredictable. No doubt that has helped to trigger this.

    At this point I'm just going to have to wait and see what happens as the Xanax wears off. Although it has an 11 hour half-life at the minimum and one of my other medications causes a slight slow down in the metabolism of Xanax so I may feel this way all day.

    Will keep you posted.