Mrs.McNear51
Member
Still hoping someday I can post some real positive news here, today is not that day. Just need to get some of this out of me, and I know my old buddies here understand. I won't ramble, just the facts and where this has left us all.
When SB gave up Lincoln 2 1/2 yrs ago, it was for a monster named Andy. A no good, drug dealer, who"s arrogance alone would run you out of a room. She has chased this man since the moment she met him. He has caused our family more pain than I can explain. But, she has made the choice to continue to engage him, and she time, after, time bears the emotional and physical scars he inflicts on her.
Last night he beat her up once again. Bad enough to hospitalize her all day. He is in jail...again. A year and a half ago, he beat her beyond recognition, brain bleed, broken bones and extensive bruising. It was only by the grace of God, she survived. Since then, he has choked her on several occasions, yet she keeps going back. She claimed once again tonite, that she loves him....
She didn't call me until after she was released from the hospital today. I was on my way to skype with sweet Lincoln when she called. She was crying, I asked what happened, and she said he had beaten her up again, please come to where I'm at. I was shaking so hard, falling apart inside. Asking myself over and over what to do. How can I not go? What kind of mother am I for not going? I pulled my car into a parking lot and told her when she called the local domestic shelter, I would come get her and take her there. I would comfort her there, I would be by her side. She told me I needed to treat her more like a daughter, than a victim of domestic violence. I replied, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I hung up and cried. I did skype with Lincoln, who is doing amazing, but watched him with his dads girlfriend, calling her mommy, and my heart fell apart.
At 23, she has no self esteem, no path, and still not willing, or able, to make the choices she needs to make a life. She is so ill, but refuses all help. I truly believes she wants this man to kill her, for him to go to prison, so no one else can be with him. I can think of no other reason for her to continue the cycle. I am having a really tough time processing it all this time. I'm so scared for her, and so shaken myself, that I feel a breaking inside of me.
I haven't heard from her again this evening. I will wait a few days and see what transpires. I don't think I am able to see her that way again. She is alive. I have to hang onto that.
It's strikes me that even knowing I always come from a place of love, and her best interest, Am I doing the right thing? Will the 2nd guessing ever go away?
We could all use some good thoughts and prayers here....especially Sweet Betsy. As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for those who have been here, guiding and supporting, I am forever grateful.
Blessings to All,
Julie
When SB gave up Lincoln 2 1/2 yrs ago, it was for a monster named Andy. A no good, drug dealer, who"s arrogance alone would run you out of a room. She has chased this man since the moment she met him. He has caused our family more pain than I can explain. But, she has made the choice to continue to engage him, and she time, after, time bears the emotional and physical scars he inflicts on her.
Last night he beat her up once again. Bad enough to hospitalize her all day. He is in jail...again. A year and a half ago, he beat her beyond recognition, brain bleed, broken bones and extensive bruising. It was only by the grace of God, she survived. Since then, he has choked her on several occasions, yet she keeps going back. She claimed once again tonite, that she loves him....
She didn't call me until after she was released from the hospital today. I was on my way to skype with sweet Lincoln when she called. She was crying, I asked what happened, and she said he had beaten her up again, please come to where I'm at. I was shaking so hard, falling apart inside. Asking myself over and over what to do. How can I not go? What kind of mother am I for not going? I pulled my car into a parking lot and told her when she called the local domestic shelter, I would come get her and take her there. I would comfort her there, I would be by her side. She told me I needed to treat her more like a daughter, than a victim of domestic violence. I replied, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I hung up and cried. I did skype with Lincoln, who is doing amazing, but watched him with his dads girlfriend, calling her mommy, and my heart fell apart.
At 23, she has no self esteem, no path, and still not willing, or able, to make the choices she needs to make a life. She is so ill, but refuses all help. I truly believes she wants this man to kill her, for him to go to prison, so no one else can be with him. I can think of no other reason for her to continue the cycle. I am having a really tough time processing it all this time. I'm so scared for her, and so shaken myself, that I feel a breaking inside of me.
I haven't heard from her again this evening. I will wait a few days and see what transpires. I don't think I am able to see her that way again. She is alive. I have to hang onto that.
It's strikes me that even knowing I always come from a place of love, and her best interest, Am I doing the right thing? Will the 2nd guessing ever go away?
We could all use some good thoughts and prayers here....especially Sweet Betsy. As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for those who have been here, guiding and supporting, I am forever grateful.
Blessings to All,
Julie