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Couldn't stay detached, messed up; now I'll pay for it in more ways than one
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 701361" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>mcdonna, I'm sorry. I also think this is part of our process and their process.</p><p></p><p>I think there is "some number" of times we have to "help" them until we are ready to stop. Recognizing it as part of our own growing process is valuable, if you can.</p><p></p><p>I agree with others who said you probably, in your heart of hearts, knew you wouldn't get the money back. I know people keeping their side of the bargain is part of having a good and healthy relationship, and that probably won't happen for a long time.</p><p></p><p>I'm just glad she isn't in your house. !!! Yay! She is cycling across another country. That is great, because you have peace in your home, which is essential to our own good health. </p><p></p><p>In terms of how to respond, I think your instincts are good. Either one of these would be good: </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Then step back and do your best not to play ball with her. You know the dance. It takes two to dance, and when we do something different, they don't know what to do. It changes the dance.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there! We understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 701361, member: 17542"] mcdonna, I'm sorry. I also think this is part of our process and their process. I think there is "some number" of times we have to "help" them until we are ready to stop. Recognizing it as part of our own growing process is valuable, if you can. I agree with others who said you probably, in your heart of hearts, knew you wouldn't get the money back. I know people keeping their side of the bargain is part of having a good and healthy relationship, and that probably won't happen for a long time. I'm just glad she isn't in your house. !!! Yay! She is cycling across another country. That is great, because you have peace in your home, which is essential to our own good health. In terms of how to respond, I think your instincts are good. Either one of these would be good: Then step back and do your best not to play ball with her. You know the dance. It takes two to dance, and when we do something different, they don't know what to do. It changes the dance. Hang in there! We understand. [/QUOTE]
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Couldn't stay detached, messed up; now I'll pay for it in more ways than one
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