You are all so wise. I haven't been around to get into all that had happened, and when I did finally sit down to write (twice) I had an error that the token had expired. Hoping it will work this time. After our screaming match the other night…I thought about the things that had been said. difficult child had an appointment the next day and I really didn't want to take him, I was too embarrassed about our behavior. Since therapist didn't say much I had no idea what he thought. Some things husband said at our session was unbelievable. Hurtful, mostly because he tried to justify everything. I do agree with the fact I think he went to try to show the therapist that it was ME. However husband showed his true colors. Unlike other attempts at counseling where he sat back and didn't say anything this time he did, which caused the screaming. When we get in an all out fight at home, husband does one thing that totally makes me lose it, he did it there. I told therapist that I am overwhelmed and I NEED help. husband's help. He is suppose to be a partner and he is not. I cannot always be made out to be the bad guy. I am not around for fun things with difficult child because I work. I told him I am the one that deals with school, teachers, meetings and making him do homework…which ends up in a fight between difficult child and myself. Then husband sides with difficult child. Not ever attending the meetings at school, not ever reading emails or looking in difficult child's folder. Always believing difficult child. Only for me to go through his folder and seeing the many missing papers or incomplete papers and all the papers we fought about, made him do only to see he never turned them in. husband's response is, 'He said he didn't have to do that. He said he was done, he said he turned it in' Well difficult child had said those things for 8 years and are always lies. So I take away the computer, I take away the xbox, I take away his phone… Things husband said are so untrue I don't know where he gets it from. He said " this is what gets me to blow…husband says (now he is yelling at the top of his lungs, lunging off his chair, making gestures) He says, non stop without breathing and without letting me say a word. 'who feeds the dogs " who feeds the dogs-who feeds Alex - who feeds the dogs-who feeds Alex-who feeds the dogs-who feeds Alex-who feeds the dogs-who feeds the dogs' Non stop. I am trying to say 'I am NOT home' So I repeat myself because he is going on and on with the same thing. Finally I say YOU DO. husband throws his hands in the air and says 'thank you very much' I looked at therapist and said, I am not home. I work midnight to noon. I am not there in the morning and sleeping at dinner time' (I do feed the family including dogs when I do not work, in addition to a second job, bills, errands, shopping, cleaning) But husband is screaming that over and over and not letting me talk. He only stops when I say what he wants to hear. After I looked at therapist and said I am not home, husband comes back loudly with 'OH..we all KNOW Kathy works nights, her and her BIG job, god forbid we don't know she works nights' ---does anyone have any idea how hard it is to stay awake all night? How it messes up your body? How you have to handle errands and phone calls, school and appointments when others are up. Giving up any time I may have to sleep.?? husband is screaming and says, there were layoffs at his work a few weeks ago, that I never ask how his day was and I never asked about his job. - not true. WHEN I see him I ask how his day was. I did ask about the lay offs and different people and departments affected. He obviously chooses not to remember or actually believes I don't ask. by the way " he never once asks about my job. That doesn't bother me though. husband says screaming 'I have to get up every day and think she is going to take me off her medical insurance' I didn't get a chance to respond to that because he went into other stuff. But I thought about that and wondered WHERE did he come up with that??? If I took him off the insurance then I would have to pay the entire bill????so WTH?? I brought up the phone thing and husband goes on and on about they all have bikinis on, nothing wrong with that, he pulls it out and tries to show therapist. I asked him how they put clothes on "anus" And also stated that I sure hope Nicolas is not a boy in "knowing Nicolas" He denied it. I pointed it out on the bill. Still he denied it. Said "I dispute that" I asked for his phone. therapist finally says give it to her. My opinion is it Doesn't matter if they have bikinis on, it is WRONG. Every minute for hours and hours???/ SICK therapist didn't go there at all. I did say he hasn't touched me in 14 years, not even a hug. Then I said he was sick and he was broke(impotent). therapist said, we'll determine who is sick and who is broke… Another post on difficult child's appointment, ties into this one.