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Countdown to Job Corps...Will he make it?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 657133" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You did the right thing, Lil. All this is too important to not speak the things we know are true. Your son made a decision. <em>This is a huge change. He is standing up. He knows this will hurt you, that you offered and he refused. At some level, this is why he did it. It's a screwed up way to begin taking responsibility, but he did it.</em></p><p></p><p>If it were me, I would keep the pain of it out of the picture. Calm / dominant, like Cesar with Cartman.</p><p></p><p>There are no atheists in foxholes, right?</p><p></p><p>So, here is a similar story. Maybe it is a similar story. Part of the reason I went back to take that degree when I did is to teach my kids that we could recover ourselves, that we could take our lives in whatever direction we chose, any time we chose to do it. Our son was living with us again on the day I was graduating with honors. In a way Lil, when I decided to go back to school, it was scary. I might have failed at it; I might have been away from it too long, and have failed. Or it may have turned out that my mother had been right all along, and that I just didn't have the intelligence it would take to graduate ~ not from there and maybe, not from anywhere, at all.</p><p></p><p>So, that was a heart on the line kind of vulnerability, when I decided to do that ~ when I decided to go back to school.</p><p></p><p>But I had not failed.</p><p></p><p>And our son refused to get out of bed when I went in to wake him up to come celebrate my walking across that stage. </p><p></p><p>In a way, it's the same kind of hurt. Or anger, or whatever it is I felt knowing my own son ~ I don't know. Didn't love me, or maybe, hated me or whatever that was about.</p><p></p><p>I walked the stage, took the degree and the honor and proof of honor and etc that went </p><p>with it ~ especially at my age then, and especially since that happened after that first therapist and what was going on with my mother and our family and etc.</p><p></p><p>And as I crossed the stage where the pretty classy private school I took that degree from was held? Out of the audience, I heard my first granddaughter squealing: "Grandma!!! Look, there's grandma!"</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>She was so surprised. She was two, and she was so surprised and pleased to see grandma so unexpectedly onstage.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure how that relates to what happened between you and your son. But that is the story that came up for me, so I told it to you.</p><p></p><p>As always Lil and Jabber, I am and we all are, pulling for you two.</p><p></p><p>And your son of course, though we don't know him.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 657133, member: 17461"] You did the right thing, Lil. All this is too important to not speak the things we know are true. Your son made a decision. [I]This is a huge change. He is standing up. He knows this will hurt you, that you offered and he refused. At some level, this is why he did it. It's a screwed up way to begin taking responsibility, but he did it.[/I] If it were me, I would keep the pain of it out of the picture. Calm / dominant, like Cesar with Cartman. There are no atheists in foxholes, right? So, here is a similar story. Maybe it is a similar story. Part of the reason I went back to take that degree when I did is to teach my kids that we could recover ourselves, that we could take our lives in whatever direction we chose, any time we chose to do it. Our son was living with us again on the day I was graduating with honors. In a way Lil, when I decided to go back to school, it was scary. I might have failed at it; I might have been away from it too long, and have failed. Or it may have turned out that my mother had been right all along, and that I just didn't have the intelligence it would take to graduate ~ not from there and maybe, not from anywhere, at all. So, that was a heart on the line kind of vulnerability, when I decided to do that ~ when I decided to go back to school. But I had not failed. And our son refused to get out of bed when I went in to wake him up to come celebrate my walking across that stage. In a way, it's the same kind of hurt. Or anger, or whatever it is I felt knowing my own son ~ I don't know. Didn't love me, or maybe, hated me or whatever that was about. I walked the stage, took the degree and the honor and proof of honor and etc that went with it ~ especially at my age then, and especially since that happened after that first therapist and what was going on with my mother and our family and etc. And as I crossed the stage where the pretty classy private school I took that degree from was held? Out of the audience, I heard my first granddaughter squealing: "Grandma!!! Look, there's grandma!" :O) She was so surprised. She was two, and she was so surprised and pleased to see grandma so unexpectedly onstage. I am not sure how that relates to what happened between you and your son. But that is the story that came up for me, so I told it to you. As always Lil and Jabber, I am and we all are, pulling for you two. And your son of course, though we don't know him. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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