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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621074" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Pas, you might want to write down a few things you want to say, and also consider what your responses might be to things your son might say. </p><p></p><p>Take that paper with you and reread it several times before you meet with him. </p><p></p><p>If you get confused sitting there by things he does and says, you could take it out and review it again before you speak.</p><p></p><p>When I am with my son, today, or talking with him by phone, my goal is to say less and listen more. Pas, you may be in a different place, but I have said it ALL, over and over and over again. There is not a whole lot left to say, for me. I want to be respectful, kind and compassionate. I don't want to blow up. I don't want to beg and plead. I don't want to be sarcastic and cynical. </p><p></p><p>Here is my latest plan, for what it's worth. You might see something that would help you as well:</p><p></p><p>Feb 6, 2014</p><p></p><p>---I am sure you will figure it out.</p><p></p><p>---I Love you.</p><p></p><p>---No.</p><p></p><p>---Good luck.</p><p></p><p>---I wish you the best.</p><p></p><p>---I don’t know.</p><p></p><p>---I’m sorry.</p><p></p><p>---I want to pause now and stop this conversation. </p><p></p><p>---I’m through talking for now. I wish you the best.</p><p></p><p>----You are right. That is what I said I would do. That was when you said you were in recovery and working a program. That has never happened, as far as I can tell. </p><p></p><p>---I am not participating at all with your choices and your behavior as it is right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I realize your son is nearly 10 years younger than my son, and the situation may be very different. Pas, take what you like here and leave the rest. I am thinking of you and praying that good things happen for you and for him tomorrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621074, member: 17542"] Pas, you might want to write down a few things you want to say, and also consider what your responses might be to things your son might say. Take that paper with you and reread it several times before you meet with him. If you get confused sitting there by things he does and says, you could take it out and review it again before you speak. When I am with my son, today, or talking with him by phone, my goal is to say less and listen more. Pas, you may be in a different place, but I have said it ALL, over and over and over again. There is not a whole lot left to say, for me. I want to be respectful, kind and compassionate. I don't want to blow up. I don't want to beg and plead. I don't want to be sarcastic and cynical. Here is my latest plan, for what it's worth. You might see something that would help you as well: Feb 6, 2014 ---I am sure you will figure it out. ---I Love you. ---No. ---Good luck. ---I wish you the best. ---I don’t know. ---I’m sorry. ---I want to pause now and stop this conversation. ---I’m through talking for now. I wish you the best. ----You are right. That is what I said I would do. That was when you said you were in recovery and working a program. That has never happened, as far as I can tell. ---I am not participating at all with your choices and your behavior as it is right now. I realize your son is nearly 10 years younger than my son, and the situation may be very different. Pas, take what you like here and leave the rest. I am thinking of you and praying that good things happen for you and for him tomorrow. [/QUOTE]
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