Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Court in Two Hours
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621095" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Pas, I am sorry you are going through this mess. If it were me, I would probably eventually go, but not the next day when difficult child was all pumped and ready to give you the guilty commercial and not when my own emotions were still so fresh. Of course, as always, this is me, not you. Just passing along a few thoughts. When I did go, I would mostly listen, nod, say "uh huh" or "ok" even if I was listening to a bunch of insults because reasoning with them doesn't work and they don't want to hear your own thoughts. In fact, if your son is like mine, he will twist your facts to make them favorable to himself and even blame his problems on things you did ten years ago...plus add in how horrible a parent you are now.</p><p></p><p>When I visited He-Who-Left-Family the very last time, I did a lot of listening. I did not defend myself, even though he was saying really "out there", ridiculous things. I did not want to fuel his indignant fire or make his weeping wife, who obviously believed that he had been very abused and mistreated, cry any harder than she already was. I was handed a list of demands I had to meet in order to be in his life and I nodded politely at their absurdity.</p><p></p><p>In the end, I was really glad that I hadn't engaged him and encouraged his abuse. I have two sons I would call abusive. One is He-Who-Left-Family and 36 can also be abusive. I often use the same silence with 36. I am very done being abused by my own kids. I'd rather hang out with my loving husband and my three kids who do love me. Call it selfish, but I don't believe I deserve to be abused and I won't enable abusive behavior toward me. I did it for long enough. I'm through.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes less is more.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you all the best thoughts in the world as well as a peaceful, serene night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621095, member: 1550"] Pas, I am sorry you are going through this mess. If it were me, I would probably eventually go, but not the next day when difficult child was all pumped and ready to give you the guilty commercial and not when my own emotions were still so fresh. Of course, as always, this is me, not you. Just passing along a few thoughts. When I did go, I would mostly listen, nod, say "uh huh" or "ok" even if I was listening to a bunch of insults because reasoning with them doesn't work and they don't want to hear your own thoughts. In fact, if your son is like mine, he will twist your facts to make them favorable to himself and even blame his problems on things you did ten years ago...plus add in how horrible a parent you are now. When I visited He-Who-Left-Family the very last time, I did a lot of listening. I did not defend myself, even though he was saying really "out there", ridiculous things. I did not want to fuel his indignant fire or make his weeping wife, who obviously believed that he had been very abused and mistreated, cry any harder than she already was. I was handed a list of demands I had to meet in order to be in his life and I nodded politely at their absurdity. In the end, I was really glad that I hadn't engaged him and encouraged his abuse. I have two sons I would call abusive. One is He-Who-Left-Family and 36 can also be abusive. I often use the same silence with 36. I am very done being abused by my own kids. I'd rather hang out with my loving husband and my three kids who do love me. Call it selfish, but I don't believe I deserve to be abused and I won't enable abusive behavior toward me. I did it for long enough. I'm through. Sometimes less is more. Wishing you all the best thoughts in the world as well as a peaceful, serene night. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Court in Two Hours
Top