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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621126" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Pas, there is such tremendous power in silence. I am getting better at silence, but I still need more work there. </p><p></p><p>If I can settle myself, and get clear, and then write it down and read it, I have a better chance at silence. </p><p></p><p>And at being able to say the things I wrote to you. I like any words that buy time, like, well, I'll think about that. </p><p></p><p>I also have repeated myself over and over with the same phrase if he persists in getting an answer he likes. </p><p></p><p>Pas, realize this is really, really hard stuff to do. It's okay to mess up. It's okay to change your mind later, no matter what you commit to, in the heat of the moment. </p><p></p><p>I now say: Well, I've thought about it some more, and I've changed my mind. </p><p></p><p>I did that last week. I got confused and said I would meet my son, even though I had set a boundary about just having a phone call. After I agreed to meet him, I didn't feel good about it, even a couple of hours later. So I changed my mind. I told him that and that I wasn't ready to see him just now. </p><p></p><p>We are just doing the very best we can, Pas, in a nearly impossible situation. You will be just fine, whatever you say and do.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you, Pas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621126, member: 17542"] Pas, there is such tremendous power in silence. I am getting better at silence, but I still need more work there. If I can settle myself, and get clear, and then write it down and read it, I have a better chance at silence. And at being able to say the things I wrote to you. I like any words that buy time, like, well, I'll think about that. I also have repeated myself over and over with the same phrase if he persists in getting an answer he likes. Pas, realize this is really, really hard stuff to do. It's okay to mess up. It's okay to change your mind later, no matter what you commit to, in the heat of the moment. I now say: Well, I've thought about it some more, and I've changed my mind. I did that last week. I got confused and said I would meet my son, even though I had set a boundary about just having a phone call. After I agreed to meet him, I didn't feel good about it, even a couple of hours later. So I changed my mind. I told him that and that I wasn't ready to see him just now. We are just doing the very best we can, Pas, in a nearly impossible situation. You will be just fine, whatever you say and do. We are here for you, Pas. [/QUOTE]
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