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Court on Monday
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<blockquote data-quote="jakiesma" data-source="post: 440467" data-attributes="member: 12260"><p>Thank you all for your kind words and your advice! I can't tell you how I appreciate it. We received word last night that the facility is recommending to the judge - and the paperwork has been filed - that he remain with them for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Our attorney - who is the County Attorney - says that is the number one factor in getting an order. Thanks to the internet I have become my own "instant attorney...just add Google." We do what we must do. So I have provided them with all of his treatment records from his outpatient therapist, his doctor's records, school records, previous drug test results and a university study showing that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is more effective than OPT for dual diagnosis adolescents. I also have drug paraphanelia from his room. Our attorney seemed very happy! However, I am not going to give some overworked county attorney control of my son's future without giving him any assistance whatsoever. I definately understand there is that fine line between enabling and helping. I just hope this court thing doesn't make it worse!</p><p></p><p>I looked at Al-Anon's website and they stated that if you child is using drugs that they don't want you in Al-Anon...that you need to go to NA meetings. However, I am 40 miles from the nearest NA meeting! I can't afford the constant drives back and forth...I already drive 40 miles to work and back every day. Believe me...if I could move I would and get my kid away from his junky friends. He has a little sister who is 14 and she has tried marijuana...following in her brothers footsteps. I wish I could just pick up the whole family and go!</p><p></p><p>We are also three hours away from his treatment facility so I don't know how many visits we will get up there. I am going to do my absolute best to be there at least twice a month but I have my own issues. I know that sounds cold blooded...believe me it is not! I have problems traveling long distances to unknown places. It's part of my own mental health problem. Do I sound terrible?!</p><p></p><p>The counselor asked if I was coming up for family day on Sunday. I told her that we weren't. She seemed kind of disappointed...but I think that it is too early. Our son is blaming us because we are easy targets for blame. I think that he is hoping that "Mommy" will come to the rescue and that he can convince us to take him home. I think that our presence would be a hinderance right now. I explained that to her...I'm not so sure she agrees with me. I just believe that right now I have to be steel, show really, really tough love, and keep him where he is! God knows..all I really want to do is run up to him and hug him and make all of the hurt go away. I know, In other words, enable him.</p><p></p><p>I agree about the ignorance. I reminded my husband today that our child is sick...he's ill. You don't treat an illness in a jail...you treat in a hospital! I think that deep down he understands more than any of us, having made some really bad choices that cause him to develop his own addiction. IF I can get them communicating again - I think that husband could be the best thing for our son. husband beat his addictions and hasn't used in 25 yrs. I reminded husband that it is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, he should be proud and he should be saying..."I beat this...and you can beat this too!" What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.</p><p></p><p>I guess in many ways I am blessed. I work for a healthcare facility that does a lot of work in mental health so I am at least starting this process with a good base knowledge. Plus I have my own "team" of mental health professionals that I see...boy doesn't that sound great!</p><p></p><p>Thank you to everyone again!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jakiesma, post: 440467, member: 12260"] Thank you all for your kind words and your advice! I can't tell you how I appreciate it. We received word last night that the facility is recommending to the judge - and the paperwork has been filed - that he remain with them for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Our attorney - who is the County Attorney - says that is the number one factor in getting an order. Thanks to the internet I have become my own "instant attorney...just add Google." We do what we must do. So I have provided them with all of his treatment records from his outpatient therapist, his doctor's records, school records, previous drug test results and a university study showing that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is more effective than OPT for dual diagnosis adolescents. I also have drug paraphanelia from his room. Our attorney seemed very happy! However, I am not going to give some overworked county attorney control of my son's future without giving him any assistance whatsoever. I definately understand there is that fine line between enabling and helping. I just hope this court thing doesn't make it worse! I looked at Al-Anon's website and they stated that if you child is using drugs that they don't want you in Al-Anon...that you need to go to NA meetings. However, I am 40 miles from the nearest NA meeting! I can't afford the constant drives back and forth...I already drive 40 miles to work and back every day. Believe me...if I could move I would and get my kid away from his junky friends. He has a little sister who is 14 and she has tried marijuana...following in her brothers footsteps. I wish I could just pick up the whole family and go! We are also three hours away from his treatment facility so I don't know how many visits we will get up there. I am going to do my absolute best to be there at least twice a month but I have my own issues. I know that sounds cold blooded...believe me it is not! I have problems traveling long distances to unknown places. It's part of my own mental health problem. Do I sound terrible?! The counselor asked if I was coming up for family day on Sunday. I told her that we weren't. She seemed kind of disappointed...but I think that it is too early. Our son is blaming us because we are easy targets for blame. I think that he is hoping that "Mommy" will come to the rescue and that he can convince us to take him home. I think that our presence would be a hinderance right now. I explained that to her...I'm not so sure she agrees with me. I just believe that right now I have to be steel, show really, really tough love, and keep him where he is! God knows..all I really want to do is run up to him and hug him and make all of the hurt go away. I know, In other words, enable him. I agree about the ignorance. I reminded my husband today that our child is sick...he's ill. You don't treat an illness in a jail...you treat in a hospital! I think that deep down he understands more than any of us, having made some really bad choices that cause him to develop his own addiction. IF I can get them communicating again - I think that husband could be the best thing for our son. husband beat his addictions and hasn't used in 25 yrs. I reminded husband that it is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, he should be proud and he should be saying..."I beat this...and you can beat this too!" What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I guess in many ways I am blessed. I work for a healthcare facility that does a lot of work in mental health so I am at least starting this process with a good base knowledge. Plus I have my own "team" of mental health professionals that I see...boy doesn't that sound great! Thank you to everyone again! [/QUOTE]
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