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Court on Monday
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 440532" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>I'm glad you got the news they want to keep him at Residential Treatment Center (RTC)-makes everything easier! I agree with not going down to see him yet by the way. We had to wait 2 weeks before we could attend family night at the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She was so not ready. Even then she tried to manipulate us by crying the entire meeting.(most newcomers did this for a few weeks at this place) Here we are in the hall with about 100 parents and she balled the whole time and so did we. It was so hard leaving our 14 year old there (actually 2 huge guys came and transported her). In my experience they are so angry at you and blame you for about a month. If the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is worth it's salt, they will have him focus on why he got himself there and his responsibilities for making ammends. That is all our daughter could talk to us about the first little while. She was always suppervised so she couln't get snarky. It was amazing how her face started to glow and she started to look better in a few months. We did make good family relationship head way at the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So I would advise getting there for family therapy as much as possible. I too have anxiety about long distance driving-our daughter was in Observation and Assessment for the state placement this past winter and it snowed every time we had to frive the 50 miles, which was 20 miles of a construction zone. I made my older son drive me or got my good friend when husband was working and couldn't come.</p><p>You know thinking about your husband, could he be feeling some guilt about your son's addictions? Maybe the relationship is strained because your husband knows exactly where your son is going and also blames himself? My husband has guilt too. He used pot and did some drinking when he was a kid. He also had some behavioral issues (hot head) when he was a teen. He believed his ":genes" were bad and the cause of her problems. I told him ultimately it may be but blaming doesn't get anyone anywhere and she has to be accountable for her own actions. Your husband will come around if you have a good therapist. Mine did. He still doesn't always get what is mental illness and what is typical teen stuff, but he gets better all the time. When my husband started toughning up and stopped his guilt, we really got a lot accomplished. I had my own brand of work to do and am still doing it. Don't feel bad about having your own team-we have our own team as well! Hang in there and again, I'm glad to here your news.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 440532, member: 11001"] I'm glad you got the news they want to keep him at Residential Treatment Center (RTC)-makes everything easier! I agree with not going down to see him yet by the way. We had to wait 2 weeks before we could attend family night at the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She was so not ready. Even then she tried to manipulate us by crying the entire meeting.(most newcomers did this for a few weeks at this place) Here we are in the hall with about 100 parents and she balled the whole time and so did we. It was so hard leaving our 14 year old there (actually 2 huge guys came and transported her). In my experience they are so angry at you and blame you for about a month. If the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is worth it's salt, they will have him focus on why he got himself there and his responsibilities for making ammends. That is all our daughter could talk to us about the first little while. She was always suppervised so she couln't get snarky. It was amazing how her face started to glow and she started to look better in a few months. We did make good family relationship head way at the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So I would advise getting there for family therapy as much as possible. I too have anxiety about long distance driving-our daughter was in Observation and Assessment for the state placement this past winter and it snowed every time we had to frive the 50 miles, which was 20 miles of a construction zone. I made my older son drive me or got my good friend when husband was working and couldn't come. You know thinking about your husband, could he be feeling some guilt about your son's addictions? Maybe the relationship is strained because your husband knows exactly where your son is going and also blames himself? My husband has guilt too. He used pot and did some drinking when he was a kid. He also had some behavioral issues (hot head) when he was a teen. He believed his ":genes" were bad and the cause of her problems. I told him ultimately it may be but blaming doesn't get anyone anywhere and she has to be accountable for her own actions. Your husband will come around if you have a good therapist. Mine did. He still doesn't always get what is mental illness and what is typical teen stuff, but he gets better all the time. When my husband started toughning up and stopped his guilt, we really got a lot accomplished. I had my own brand of work to do and am still doing it. Don't feel bad about having your own team-we have our own team as well! Hang in there and again, I'm glad to here your news. [/QUOTE]
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