Court tomorrow - update
- Thread starter Nancy
- Start date
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Hoping your difficult child learns what is necessary from this experience.
You ARE a good mom for offering support...can understand where husband is coming from too.
LMS
You ARE a good mom for offering support...can understand where husband is coming from too.
LMS
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
It's hard...to go, not to go. Either choice has merit. As Kathy says, she will appreciate your show of support. Hugs.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I get tired of sitting in court. Honestly. I had to sit in court for work, I have taken out charges against people and they have gone nowhere, and I have been there with Cory. I am so tired of being in courtrooms. Maybe it would be more interesting if I was working there.
A
AmericanGirl
Guest
Hoping for the best!!!
She was put in the diversion program. She is on probation for 90 days and has to complete 72 hours of community service and the usually, no trouble, no contact with anyone with a criminal history (yeah!!!) and attend a shoplifting seminar. She's very lucky but she better stay out of trouble. She said her roommate is good, never been in trouble, but comes from a troubled family, mother is drug addict and father is paralyzed from fall from roof. I hope she's a good person and the two of them can keep each other out of trouble.
S
Signorina
Guest
Glad she has some consequences - but nothing too harsh. Hoping she will allow this to nudge her back on the right path.
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
That's not too bad. Maybe it'll do her some good? What does she think about it? Does husband think it's fair?
She is very relieved and told her attorney she was never ever going to do anything like that again (we'll see). I think the community service will be good for her. She lives in a part of town where there is a lot of homelessness and hard times and several of the places she can volunteer at are very near her so it will be good for her to be involved in that. The theft class she has to go to can only help and the fact that she is on probation and knows she can't get into any trouble is good.
husband was pleased that she received some consequeneces while still having the ability to have it dismissed after she completes it. He said if he litigated it there was a very real possibility he could have gotten it thrown out because the search was very questionable, which is why he really didn't want to handle it. Difficult position to be in when your entire purpose in working is to defend people but that isn't the right thing to do as a parent.
I took her to lunch after and we had a nice talk. There are times like today that I think she is getting it and then she goes and does something really stupid. I asked her when she was going to be the one who told her friends no instead of the one who went along with them when they did something bad. While we were sitting in the lobby they brought in about 10 young people in orange jumpsuits, handcuffed and shackled. One young girl was about difficult child's age and she had sores all over her face, we both looked at each other and mouthed "heroin". Then a guy walked by andW she said OMG I know him, he's my neighbor's friend. All young people. And I would bet that most if not all are substance abusers.
While we were waiting for the probation officer, who looked very much like Kalinda in The Good Wife, There were two young men in handcuffs sitting there and the police officer was talking to them and the one guy said he was never going to drink again and the officer asked for how long and he said well for at least a while. I told difficult child that could be her in the future and she said no she was never going to be like that.
I think it was the best result she could hope for and hopefully some of the consequences will make her think. She doesn't have much time to complete them so she will be busy.
husband was pleased that she received some consequeneces while still having the ability to have it dismissed after she completes it. He said if he litigated it there was a very real possibility he could have gotten it thrown out because the search was very questionable, which is why he really didn't want to handle it. Difficult position to be in when your entire purpose in working is to defend people but that isn't the right thing to do as a parent.
I took her to lunch after and we had a nice talk. There are times like today that I think she is getting it and then she goes and does something really stupid. I asked her when she was going to be the one who told her friends no instead of the one who went along with them when they did something bad. While we were sitting in the lobby they brought in about 10 young people in orange jumpsuits, handcuffed and shackled. One young girl was about difficult child's age and she had sores all over her face, we both looked at each other and mouthed "heroin". Then a guy walked by andW she said OMG I know him, he's my neighbor's friend. All young people. And I would bet that most if not all are substance abusers.
While we were waiting for the probation officer, who looked very much like Kalinda in The Good Wife, There were two young men in handcuffs sitting there and the police officer was talking to them and the one guy said he was never going to drink again and the officer asked for how long and he said well for at least a while. I told difficult child that could be her in the future and she said no she was never going to be like that.
I think it was the best result she could hope for and hopefully some of the consequences will make her think. She doesn't have much time to complete them so she will be busy.
T
toughlovin
Guest
Nancy I think this was the best possible outcome... and hopefully she will do what she needs to do. I think it is all hopeful.... but keep your armor on!!! My difficult child had good outcomes at court and he has blown them all off and now has a warrant here for violation of probation....
TL
TL
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
Geez, Nancy, that's like "scared straight." I hope she reflects not only on the legal consequences of that lifestyle, but the consequences to that person's entire BEING, Know what I mean?? She sure dodged a bullet this time, and I sincerely hope she saw those young people with sores, in jumpsuits and shackles and has an awakening of sorts. From my mouth to God's ears.
DDD
Well-Known Member
I've had the kid in the orange suit and the shackles....those kids are just like your difficult child but using public defenders. It is a humbling position for a loving parent to face. Truly, with my whole heart, I hope she recognizes that she could easily be in orange. Sadly, with addictive behaviors, it's a xxxx shoot. I'm rooting for her but suggesting you keep your WM outfit in the back of your closet. Hugs DDD
A
AmericanGirl
Guest
Busy is good, especially for difficult children. Glad it was a good outcome.
The diversion program at least where I live is for first time offenders only. It is difficult for some kids especially those with ODD to see it as anything but another chance, this being from my perspective and what I have witnessed personally. But for lots of kids it is too darn close for comfort, and works without lifelong reprecussions. I pray your daughter is one of the latter and that is your last interaction with your child and the courtroom.
dashcat
Member
Nancy,
Yes, it was the best result you could hope for: consequences and enough mercy to be recognzied as having been given a break. She is a smart girl. It is possible that she will get it. She has to know she was only a hair's breath from being one of the kids in an orange suit. Applause to you and your husband for allowing her to do this on her own, but still with your love and support.
Dash
Yes, it was the best result you could hope for: consequences and enough mercy to be recognzied as having been given a break. She is a smart girl. It is possible that she will get it. She has to know she was only a hair's breath from being one of the kids in an orange suit. Applause to you and your husband for allowing her to do this on her own, but still with your love and support.
Dash
