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Substance Abuse
Court Tuesday - not good
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 507568" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What is his BEHAVIOR telling you? Is his behavior telling you he wants to be in school, to live within the rules/expectations of the family (you) and have the support of the family? Or is his behavior telling you that he wants to party, play at going to school, have you support him, and do what he wants no matter what? </p><p></p><p>I know he is immature and a difficult child and has MH issues. These would excuse things if he WANTED to get an education and a good job and live a sober life. Does he want to get an education, get a good job, work to support himself and have a family and a great life? Or does he want to party, to go to classes when it is convenient, to NOT work, and to party and get drunk/high most of the time?</p><p></p><p>Until he is mature enough to make the choice to get and stay sober/clean, you can pay for anything you want but it won't help him. It will enable him. difficult child has to get to the point where life is SO HARD that he is at his absolute bottom and he wants and needs to get/stay clean and to get help for the MH issues. </p><p></p><p>Didn't he just get a tattoo that had to be expensive? If he can get $ for that, what is he telling you with his behavior? What is that telling you about his priorities?</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we have to figure out how to accept taht what we want and what our kids want is different. That we cannot help them until they hit bottom, and that most of the help we do on the way to that bottom is actually enabling and not helping.</p><p></p><p>That being said, do what makes YOU feel good. DO what makes YOU sleep easier and what doesn't end up making you feel horrible. If you want to pay the fines, school fees, etc... AND it makes you feel good, then do it. If you feel bad after you do it, dont' do it again. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry things are so difficult. Sometimes our kids just have to learn the hardest possible way in order for them to retain the lesson.</p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 507568, member: 1233"] What is his BEHAVIOR telling you? Is his behavior telling you he wants to be in school, to live within the rules/expectations of the family (you) and have the support of the family? Or is his behavior telling you that he wants to party, play at going to school, have you support him, and do what he wants no matter what? I know he is immature and a difficult child and has MH issues. These would excuse things if he WANTED to get an education and a good job and live a sober life. Does he want to get an education, get a good job, work to support himself and have a family and a great life? Or does he want to party, to go to classes when it is convenient, to NOT work, and to party and get drunk/high most of the time? Until he is mature enough to make the choice to get and stay sober/clean, you can pay for anything you want but it won't help him. It will enable him. difficult child has to get to the point where life is SO HARD that he is at his absolute bottom and he wants and needs to get/stay clean and to get help for the MH issues. Didn't he just get a tattoo that had to be expensive? If he can get $ for that, what is he telling you with his behavior? What is that telling you about his priorities? Sometimes we have to figure out how to accept taht what we want and what our kids want is different. That we cannot help them until they hit bottom, and that most of the help we do on the way to that bottom is actually enabling and not helping. That being said, do what makes YOU feel good. DO what makes YOU sleep easier and what doesn't end up making you feel horrible. If you want to pay the fines, school fees, etc... AND it makes you feel good, then do it. If you feel bad after you do it, dont' do it again. I am so sorry things are so difficult. Sometimes our kids just have to learn the hardest possible way in order for them to retain the lesson. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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