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Coworker's fat comment has me upset and more determined than ever
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 596836" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>With caring, I am demanding that you stop the negative self talk! Hugs. I've been the worst through my life at the self loathing messages that tank your self worth. And when that happens, where does solace come from? More comfort food. And on the cycle worsens. Not to mention, we are NOT defined as people by our weight, skin, hair, clothes, blah blah blah. Others may be butt head morons and put us down. No shame on you (stop being ashamed, please!!!!!), shame on THOSE PEOPLE. Frankly. people who do that? I don't care if she's size 0 with triple F's. Her self esteem is so in the tank that she can't feel good but for putting others down to feel superior. It hurts of course when ignorant people make cruel statements. As I tell my beautiful easy child (Who has lost 30lbs healthy ways in a year and looks FABULOUS), let it sting because you're human, then pity them. Frankly, it's not about you at all when people do nasty things like that. Remind yourself that it is about THEM in that moment in their sub concious. A deep self loathing and lack of self esteem that drives ugly from their tongues to try to for one second feel better by putting another down. Then brush off that sting, and let those people carry THEIR garbage and baggage, it's theirs to own and not yours. </p><p></p><p>I'll repeat, stop feeling "ashamed". Feeling uncomfortable in your body size, or shape, or clothes or unhealthy or disappointed in yourself? Natural. And can be motivating when you change your inner voice that speaks to you. WOrk it until it becomes natural thoughts, not forced. I am not a bad person, I'm struggling like millions of others with weight and I want to feel good, and feel more confident and lose weight. I can do it and it's a process, not a event in a blink of an eye. I'm worth the effort, and it won't be easy, and I'll mess up at times and have to brush off and get it back on track because I'm human. But I've got this and I can do it, and I"m doing it for ME because I'm worth being the best me that I need to be for MYSELF to feel fantastic in my own body. </p><p></p><p>And while you're doing that? Love the skin you're in! Whatever size or shape. We are all beautiful individual unique creates with wonderful things to offer this world. Our bodies are shells for who we really ARE. But those shells, face it, do matter on another personal level and that is OK. But when you love the skin you are in NOW? Even while trying to change that skin and change that body, you improve your chance of long term success in the weight loss goals. Because a sure way to battle weight endlessly, is self loathing and inability to LOVE the skin you're in. </p><p></p><p>When alone during or after a shower or whatever, don't be ashamed and not look at yourself or in a mirror. And when you look, take off the jaded self loathing glasses just long enough to stop focusing on the parts you want to work on. Instead, inspect and find what you love. Have a great butt, and will be even greater for your self esteem with weight loss? Love that butt (hope that brought a giggle at least). Legs, chest, neck, shoulders, ankles, cheek bones, whatever it is that you know you are loving. It gets easier the more that you do it. And suddenly with fresher less self loathing lenses, you'll start looking at places you weren't noticing right away and be thinking wow why did I hate xyz so much on my body? Not so bad after all!!</p><p></p><p>I had gastric bypass, best decision EVER but I was seriously morbidly obese and was scared for my life and health. Kept it off a long time at a goal weight. Loved the skin I was in. Since developing MS, between periods of steroids or inability to be physical during flares, and overall inability to maintain consistent exercise, I gained. And it stunk and I ate more comfort food that I'd been loving life without. I'll always be a foodie. I like food and that's OKAY. I'm unhappy at my weight. I'm a size 14 now. I'd been in a size 6 skirt. Probably first time since age, well, maybe 8? So that's a jump that I'm NOT okay with. And I'm working it. And I have success, and then I slide back. But I've learned to keep trying and not beat myself up, but keep working it. And I've learned to love the skin I'm in. And I really hope for you that you can as well. I swear by it being a key ingredient to a healthy body size. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and I have complete faith you can do this!!! </p><p></p><p>PS. If I win the lotto on my ticket tonight, I'm flying in to whoop some Barbie behind. I promise to pretend it's some random stranger thing, so don't act like maybe you know the looney toon who just attacked Cruella. It will be me, but shhhhh. It'll be our secret.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 596836, member: 4264"] With caring, I am demanding that you stop the negative self talk! Hugs. I've been the worst through my life at the self loathing messages that tank your self worth. And when that happens, where does solace come from? More comfort food. And on the cycle worsens. Not to mention, we are NOT defined as people by our weight, skin, hair, clothes, blah blah blah. Others may be butt head morons and put us down. No shame on you (stop being ashamed, please!!!!!), shame on THOSE PEOPLE. Frankly. people who do that? I don't care if she's size 0 with triple F's. Her self esteem is so in the tank that she can't feel good but for putting others down to feel superior. It hurts of course when ignorant people make cruel statements. As I tell my beautiful easy child (Who has lost 30lbs healthy ways in a year and looks FABULOUS), let it sting because you're human, then pity them. Frankly, it's not about you at all when people do nasty things like that. Remind yourself that it is about THEM in that moment in their sub concious. A deep self loathing and lack of self esteem that drives ugly from their tongues to try to for one second feel better by putting another down. Then brush off that sting, and let those people carry THEIR garbage and baggage, it's theirs to own and not yours. I'll repeat, stop feeling "ashamed". Feeling uncomfortable in your body size, or shape, or clothes or unhealthy or disappointed in yourself? Natural. And can be motivating when you change your inner voice that speaks to you. WOrk it until it becomes natural thoughts, not forced. I am not a bad person, I'm struggling like millions of others with weight and I want to feel good, and feel more confident and lose weight. I can do it and it's a process, not a event in a blink of an eye. I'm worth the effort, and it won't be easy, and I'll mess up at times and have to brush off and get it back on track because I'm human. But I've got this and I can do it, and I"m doing it for ME because I'm worth being the best me that I need to be for MYSELF to feel fantastic in my own body. And while you're doing that? Love the skin you're in! Whatever size or shape. We are all beautiful individual unique creates with wonderful things to offer this world. Our bodies are shells for who we really ARE. But those shells, face it, do matter on another personal level and that is OK. But when you love the skin you are in NOW? Even while trying to change that skin and change that body, you improve your chance of long term success in the weight loss goals. Because a sure way to battle weight endlessly, is self loathing and inability to LOVE the skin you're in. When alone during or after a shower or whatever, don't be ashamed and not look at yourself or in a mirror. And when you look, take off the jaded self loathing glasses just long enough to stop focusing on the parts you want to work on. Instead, inspect and find what you love. Have a great butt, and will be even greater for your self esteem with weight loss? Love that butt (hope that brought a giggle at least). Legs, chest, neck, shoulders, ankles, cheek bones, whatever it is that you know you are loving. It gets easier the more that you do it. And suddenly with fresher less self loathing lenses, you'll start looking at places you weren't noticing right away and be thinking wow why did I hate xyz so much on my body? Not so bad after all!! I had gastric bypass, best decision EVER but I was seriously morbidly obese and was scared for my life and health. Kept it off a long time at a goal weight. Loved the skin I was in. Since developing MS, between periods of steroids or inability to be physical during flares, and overall inability to maintain consistent exercise, I gained. And it stunk and I ate more comfort food that I'd been loving life without. I'll always be a foodie. I like food and that's OKAY. I'm unhappy at my weight. I'm a size 14 now. I'd been in a size 6 skirt. Probably first time since age, well, maybe 8? So that's a jump that I'm NOT okay with. And I'm working it. And I have success, and then I slide back. But I've learned to keep trying and not beat myself up, but keep working it. And I've learned to love the skin I'm in. And I really hope for you that you can as well. I swear by it being a key ingredient to a healthy body size. Hugs and I have complete faith you can do this!!! PS. If I win the lotto on my ticket tonight, I'm flying in to whoop some Barbie behind. I promise to pretend it's some random stranger thing, so don't act like maybe you know the looney toon who just attacked Cruella. It will be me, but shhhhh. It'll be our secret. [/QUOTE]
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Coworker's fat comment has me upset and more determined than ever
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