Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
cps again
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 407668" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Jena, do your utmost to not let the drama of the whole thing swamp you. It is easy, too easy, to let yourself get caught up in the ridiculous hysteria of it all. This is NOT the time to scream, "Why me? Leave me alone!" no matter how much you want to, no matter how much you feel justified.</p><p></p><p>This is a time to quietly knuckle under to CPS and be as open with them as possible. In this, they are your friends. I am not kidding here. If you block them in any way or get resentful OF THEM in any way, it will go badly for you. It's not fair, but it is what it is.</p><p></p><p>Stop, breathe, and think. The CPS people have certain responsibilities, once they are called in. They clearly MUST inform you of the worst possible outcome - "I am bound to tell you that if we find against you, the courts could be petitioned to take your child away." The CPS worker however went on to make it clear - it won't happen in your case. She probably should not have told you that, but I'm betting she was saying it to make it clear - you are clearly doing all the right things. Someone has filed on you, someone who either doesn't know, or doesn't pay attention. It might not be "the school" as an institution, but rather a single staff member who has not heard the whole story. Don't blame the school as a whole - not yet. Of course you can suspect that there are a number of people there who are not "with it", but it only takes ONE to make a CPS report.</p><p></p><p>CPS can also open doors for services. You probably have already got everything you possibly can get, but you don't know if there is something more that could be handed to you for free, instead of you having to pay for it. As I said - they are on your side.</p><p></p><p>Now to the really good news - if you cooperate with the crud and inconvenience and the feeling that nobody trusts you - just put up with it, hoover it up and ignore the anger in you (certainly do not express that anger at CPS) then this complaint will be dropped. It will also be dropped with records kept which make it clear - you are doing everything you can. You have actually had good progress with difficult child. And as others have said, she wants to go back to school, so this is not a case of a parent pandering to a spoilt child who wants to avoid school. CPS get this. They are on your side. I can't stress that enough. Do not rile them, you need them on side in order to SOONER label these reports as false and even vexatious.</p><p></p><p>If CPS do eventually label the report as vexatious, then whoever filed the false report is in big trouble, especially if they file again.</p><p></p><p>The best way to make this go away, permanently, is to quietly cooperate with them.</p><p></p><p>Having CPS look over your shoulder constantly is NOT saying, "We don't believe you," it is having CPS gather the data for themselves so they can say to the person who reported, "We saw, we looked, we double-checked - we can 100% vouch for Jena that she is a good mother and is doing absolutely everything for difficult child. So now let's talk about you and what motivated you to file that false report..."</p><p></p><p>They can't do that for you, if they do not have that double-check in place.</p><p></p><p>So let them do their job. Put up with it. It is NOT a statement of disbelief in you, it is belts and braces so they have evidence FOR you, not against.</p><p></p><p>They are on your side.</p><p></p><p>If you move, it will be expensive. You will end up in a new place, totally unknown options, a new school (which eventually might be a good idea) but if you do this while CPS are still digging, and while a school anywhere else has made reports against you that have not been fully investigated - then it looks like you are running away because you are guilty. DO NOT DO THIS! </p><p></p><p>If you want to move schools for difficult child, then do it for other reasons. I think you have enough of them. But do it AFTER this CPS complaint has been resolved.</p><p></p><p>The best revenge is success. In this - the best revenge on whoever reported this, will be CPS publicly clearing you and also saying, "We have investigated this family enough. Any more reports go in the bin."</p><p></p><p>THAT is when you move.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 407668, member: 1991"] Jena, do your utmost to not let the drama of the whole thing swamp you. It is easy, too easy, to let yourself get caught up in the ridiculous hysteria of it all. This is NOT the time to scream, "Why me? Leave me alone!" no matter how much you want to, no matter how much you feel justified. This is a time to quietly knuckle under to CPS and be as open with them as possible. In this, they are your friends. I am not kidding here. If you block them in any way or get resentful OF THEM in any way, it will go badly for you. It's not fair, but it is what it is. Stop, breathe, and think. The CPS people have certain responsibilities, once they are called in. They clearly MUST inform you of the worst possible outcome - "I am bound to tell you that if we find against you, the courts could be petitioned to take your child away." The CPS worker however went on to make it clear - it won't happen in your case. She probably should not have told you that, but I'm betting she was saying it to make it clear - you are clearly doing all the right things. Someone has filed on you, someone who either doesn't know, or doesn't pay attention. It might not be "the school" as an institution, but rather a single staff member who has not heard the whole story. Don't blame the school as a whole - not yet. Of course you can suspect that there are a number of people there who are not "with it", but it only takes ONE to make a CPS report. CPS can also open doors for services. You probably have already got everything you possibly can get, but you don't know if there is something more that could be handed to you for free, instead of you having to pay for it. As I said - they are on your side. Now to the really good news - if you cooperate with the crud and inconvenience and the feeling that nobody trusts you - just put up with it, hoover it up and ignore the anger in you (certainly do not express that anger at CPS) then this complaint will be dropped. It will also be dropped with records kept which make it clear - you are doing everything you can. You have actually had good progress with difficult child. And as others have said, she wants to go back to school, so this is not a case of a parent pandering to a spoilt child who wants to avoid school. CPS get this. They are on your side. I can't stress that enough. Do not rile them, you need them on side in order to SOONER label these reports as false and even vexatious. If CPS do eventually label the report as vexatious, then whoever filed the false report is in big trouble, especially if they file again. The best way to make this go away, permanently, is to quietly cooperate with them. Having CPS look over your shoulder constantly is NOT saying, "We don't believe you," it is having CPS gather the data for themselves so they can say to the person who reported, "We saw, we looked, we double-checked - we can 100% vouch for Jena that she is a good mother and is doing absolutely everything for difficult child. So now let's talk about you and what motivated you to file that false report..." They can't do that for you, if they do not have that double-check in place. So let them do their job. Put up with it. It is NOT a statement of disbelief in you, it is belts and braces so they have evidence FOR you, not against. They are on your side. If you move, it will be expensive. You will end up in a new place, totally unknown options, a new school (which eventually might be a good idea) but if you do this while CPS are still digging, and while a school anywhere else has made reports against you that have not been fully investigated - then it looks like you are running away because you are guilty. DO NOT DO THIS! If you want to move schools for difficult child, then do it for other reasons. I think you have enough of them. But do it AFTER this CPS complaint has been resolved. The best revenge is success. In this - the best revenge on whoever reported this, will be CPS publicly clearing you and also saying, "We have investigated this family enough. Any more reports go in the bin." THAT is when you move. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
cps again
Top