Crazy week

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by toughlovin, Oct 1, 2011.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Well this has been one stressful week what with my dad being ill and my son being in a tx place he hates... I can't' remember if I updated you all on this saga that is our health care system!!! Anyway my son was discharged from one hospital to a residential substance abuse place but really I feel like they just wanted to discharge him somewhere rather than finding him good quality rehab... the place he want to he hated and he felt like it was really for detox which he didn't need. I saw him there today and really it was a very depressing place. He is being discharged from there on Monday.....

    So this past week while I was out visiting my dad and talking to the social workers I was almost beside myself because it seemed like we were getting nowhere and they were going to end up discharging him to the street.... honestly how would that help him?? Here he is trying to get help and he is not getting it. Now I am sure he had an attitude at this place which did not help either.

    If I hadn't been there to advocate and push for him he would have totally fallen through the cracks!! I finally called the sober house he had been in before out of state to see if they could suggest anything. They are great people and care about my son.

    So they told me about a rehab where they are and I ended up talking to them, they talked to the insurance and it will get covered...... This sounds like a good quality program and they work with a lot of young adults his age. So my son is getting discharged Monday and I am taking him to the airport and he will fly to the other place.

    My son still wants help. We left the decision up to him... he was the first to suggest to me he might be willng to go back to that area... but we let him know we would help him in either place.

    I saw him today and asked him how he felt about it.... and he is nervous but he said, I know it is what i need. It is like ripping off a bandaid, I just have to do it.

    He looked worse today than he did a week ago... which bugs me Occupational Therapist (OT) all get out... how can you have another week of supposed tx and look worse???

    Anyway he has hung in there and he still wants help and all that is good. And my dad is doing better so I am hoping to have a calmer week after Monday.

  2. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    How frustrating when he finally wants the help there is one roadblock after anther! Thank goodness he had you to advocate for him because I'm sure many do not have that help and do end up back on the street and back on drugs. Sending positive thoughts your way that he gets to the new place and things work out for him! Sounds like he is on the right track!
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    You know this place he is at drives me nuts. I am sure he has an attitude... geez I have lived it don't you know. But my husband was visiting him and he got an attitude and then the staff just wouldn't help them see the SW that day. Now I get how frustrating it is to deal with someone with a bad attitude but really the staff taking it personally and reacting??? This is supposed to be a place that does dual diagnosis tx, they must deal with difficult children with bad attitude all the time?

    And he really does not deal with frustration appropriately.... but the other good place he did not have these problems.. he was cooperative and my impression was the staff liked him!!!

    Oh well he is outta there in a couple of days.

  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Plus you would think since these are the people they deal with every single day perhaps they would take a more professional attitude. Come on, people, it's rehab- you're dealing with a bunch of addicts who have gone off their drugs. Probably not the most easy going group in the world, but that's the job they chose, so....
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I will tell you what I was told about why the staff sometimes is not as pleasant as we would like in places that are short term. They are trying to get the people to learn to deal with frustration as fast as possible as well as possible before they hit the real world.

    They also do that in long term places in the last week or two. Suddenly staff start attempting to frustrate the patient to see how they will deal with frustration. That happened with Cory at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and he was really confused!
  6. AHF

    AHF Member

    This has been very much my experience with transition programs. They act as if this is their first experience with someone who isn't immediately "with the program." And there you go, out on the street, trying to figure it out on your own because the folks who are supposed to have experience with these attitudes can't have it. But to cut them a bit of slack--apparently these "attitudes" affect the program as a whole. Other kids are teetering on the edge, and when they see ours tipping over it, they follow. Next thing you know, the whole structure of the program is being threatened. This is not comforting--I'm in exactly the same spot as you at the moment--but I have tried putting the situation in this light to Peter Pan, who could use a reminder that he is not the only one trying to get it together by way of a transition program.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I don't know it seems really off for the staff to purposely create frustration.... I think there are plenty of natural frustrations when you are in an institution like that. I think for my son anyways it really helps him to feel understood (hey that is true for most people). Today he told me that the staff yelled at the patients, the doctor was suppsed to see him one afternoon and didn't come until after midnight!!! That is really nuts it seems to me.

    Anyway he is out of there.... I took him to the airport this afternoon and so is on his way... I will post when I get the call that he is there safely.