Creepy adult male...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Sep 26, 2015.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Last night my 17yo spent several hours with a friend, who also lives by another family with teen boys. I was surprised to see her tagged in a post by an adult male (probably 30/35yo) that he then puts on his FB page and tagged her in it. You can tell she is posing and enjoying the attention. He calls her "a home girl who is rockin her black paisley dress". She claims he is a friend and uncle figure to her friend, and the family next door to her friend.

    I checked out his FB page and it creeped me out. In his photo section, there were kinky photos of him kissing a woman while holding a dagger to her neck, another one with him lifting up the back of the woman's short skirt showing a bare bum. They looked staged, but still creepy...

    I tried to talk to daughter (diff dtr) that I wanted her to untag herself and delete from her page...and unfriend him. But you can guess her response... You don't know him, he's like an uncle to her friends, blah, blah, blah.

    I am so afraid that she will be taken advantage of, because she is an attention magnet. Less than 6 months til she is legally an adult... God save us all! KSM
     
  2. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Oh no ksm, Im so sorry your daughter is thinking this guy is ok. I know I panic about my 15 yr old too, its scary when they are on these pages or are with certain friends that" are nice, safe "etc.. I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts. That would make me nervous as well. Hugs
     
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That would creep me out too...
     
  4. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Bells clanging loudly in my head over this. Nope, nope, nope.
     
  5. Freedom08

    Freedom08 Member

    Eww. That's super creepy. I've had grown women show interest in my 14 year old son and that is nauseating disgusting and illegal!! They back off when they find out how old he is but still YUCK. . The friend would raise alarm bells with me too. I think right now just keep talking to her.
     
  6. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    Sheesh, I don't even like it when people tag me on Facebook. I find it terribly invasive. So this guy clearly is not a winner in the judgment department. And the dagger thing is certainly an additional tip-off that this guy is bad news.

    The thing is, when I was your daughter's age, I got in some icky situations as well -- situations where my desire to be found desirable overcame my good judgment. And my mother's harsh reaction just made me despise her and feel bad about myself. So I think you need to handle this very delicately. Can you try to talk to your daughter as you would to a girlfriend? Help her to enjoy the positive attention while realizing that this is a not a person with whom it's a good idea to have further interactions?

    I don't know, I think this is really tricky. My mother freaking out when the wrong guys paid attention to me used to make me feel really horrible. I think it was counterproductive in some ways. If there's any way you can share your concern without taking all the joy out of being young and rocking a paisley dress, I think that would be ideal. Be an ally, not an overseer. (Easy for me to say -- my daughter is only 11!).

    Sending lots of sympathy--
     
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Report him to facebook. You click on the right hand corner of a post and it gives you several options. facebook will investigate it. I have had a few of my son's friends kicked off facebook for going against community standards and for drug related posts. In one case the police were alerted and he was arrested for drugs and selling porn.
     
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