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Crippling anxiety
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 52628"><p>I wholeheartedly second what Fran said.</p><p></p><p>When I read your post, it reminded me of my relationship with my mother. I always was overcome with angst and anxiety over a new change (in my case I moved a lot - 6 schools in 4 years, and I was a very shy and anxious kid) and my mother would always walk me through it pretty much in the way that you described with your son. What stuck with me most, though, were not her actual words, but that she stood by me through it. If I were completely honest, as a teenager I probably rolled my eyes at most of what she said during those times. She was right about most things, of course, but it was all stuff I had to do and learn on my own (and when you're 16 you don't think that your mother could understand a thing you're going through ever - and when you're 16 you think you are the ONLY one ever to go through what you are going through). But she heard me...she listened to me...she supported me...she offered words of encouragement and her insight (she said all the right things - nothing especially unique) ...and she let me go. I could unload my fears and heartache and she didn't downplay or invalidate any of it. I wanted desperately for her to be able to fix it for me, and I'm sure she wanted to be able to do so, but of course that's not possible. She held my hand, but she didn't carry me. That's what I remember most.</p><p></p><p>I hope that makes sense. I got all emotional thinking about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 52628"] I wholeheartedly second what Fran said. When I read your post, it reminded me of my relationship with my mother. I always was overcome with angst and anxiety over a new change (in my case I moved a lot - 6 schools in 4 years, and I was a very shy and anxious kid) and my mother would always walk me through it pretty much in the way that you described with your son. What stuck with me most, though, were not her actual words, but that she stood by me through it. If I were completely honest, as a teenager I probably rolled my eyes at most of what she said during those times. She was right about most things, of course, but it was all stuff I had to do and learn on my own (and when you're 16 you don't think that your mother could understand a thing you're going through ever - and when you're 16 you think you are the ONLY one ever to go through what you are going through). But she heard me...she listened to me...she supported me...she offered words of encouragement and her insight (she said all the right things - nothing especially unique) ...and she let me go. I could unload my fears and heartache and she didn't downplay or invalidate any of it. I wanted desperately for her to be able to fix it for me, and I'm sure she wanted to be able to do so, but of course that's not possible. She held my hand, but she didn't carry me. That's what I remember most. I hope that makes sense. I got all emotional thinking about it. [/QUOTE]
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