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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 52660" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Thank you guys! It's good to parent by committee. :wink: </p><p></p><p>TM - absolutely no offense and you are of course right. thank you's been in very controlled settings where he had the option to make good choices but there was a huge safety net if he didn't. That safety net will still be there in the GH, but it will be smaller. No question it's a bit overwhelming for him. Genius idea about writing questions down - I called him this morning and suggested that it might be a good way for him to get a handle on his concerns *and* have them addressed. Thank you!!</p><p></p><p>Fran - bless your wisdom and experience. You're right, I need to balance much better what I see as the big picture and thank you's perception of the situation, which is very small. His concerns may seem extraneous to me but if they aren't addressed satisfactorily for him, if he doesn't get the support where he thinks he needs it, this isn't going to work. I did tell him last night that it's very appropriate for him to feel a sense of loss over the people he's leaving. While I'm focused on the future and the possibilities, he's really stuck on the loss. I need to be mindful. I'll talk to his SW about plan B. It's kind of a vague plan right now - we definitely need to firm it up for thank you so he has that security.</p><p></p><p>Heather - thanks so much for sharing. That's been my goal, to be supportive but at the same time pull back a bit so that he's spreading his own wings. Very very easy to do in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I think I've been able to be halfway decent at it up to this point. I just stumbled so badly last night, couldn't find the right words at all. </p><p></p><p>Thanks to the rest of you for good thoughts and support. I realized several years ago that thank you's family is quite large and quite fluid. Staff have come and gone, thank you has come and gone. I can't regret it because it was how it was and I'm glad that thank you was able to have such a variety of supportive people in his life, but they also are not constants. Time (long past time, actually) to help him start building a concrete base of support, in addition to us.</p><p></p><p>I know this kid can take off and soar but I also have to temper my cautious optimism and let him falter and be hesitant. I just don't want him to get overwhelmed and give up before he really gets started. What a balancing act!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 52660, member: 8"] Thank you guys! It's good to parent by committee. [img]:wink:[/img] TM - absolutely no offense and you are of course right. thank you's been in very controlled settings where he had the option to make good choices but there was a huge safety net if he didn't. That safety net will still be there in the GH, but it will be smaller. No question it's a bit overwhelming for him. Genius idea about writing questions down - I called him this morning and suggested that it might be a good way for him to get a handle on his concerns *and* have them addressed. Thank you!! Fran - bless your wisdom and experience. You're right, I need to balance much better what I see as the big picture and thank you's perception of the situation, which is very small. His concerns may seem extraneous to me but if they aren't addressed satisfactorily for him, if he doesn't get the support where he thinks he needs it, this isn't going to work. I did tell him last night that it's very appropriate for him to feel a sense of loss over the people he's leaving. While I'm focused on the future and the possibilities, he's really stuck on the loss. I need to be mindful. I'll talk to his SW about plan B. It's kind of a vague plan right now - we definitely need to firm it up for thank you so he has that security. Heather - thanks so much for sharing. That's been my goal, to be supportive but at the same time pull back a bit so that he's spreading his own wings. Very very easy to do in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I think I've been able to be halfway decent at it up to this point. I just stumbled so badly last night, couldn't find the right words at all. Thanks to the rest of you for good thoughts and support. I realized several years ago that thank you's family is quite large and quite fluid. Staff have come and gone, thank you has come and gone. I can't regret it because it was how it was and I'm glad that thank you was able to have such a variety of supportive people in his life, but they also are not constants. Time (long past time, actually) to help him start building a concrete base of support, in addition to us. I know this kid can take off and soar but I also have to temper my cautious optimism and let him falter and be hesitant. I just don't want him to get overwhelmed and give up before he really gets started. What a balancing act! [/QUOTE]
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