Hi, I am new to this forum, I am reaching out because I have raised an oppositional defiant child for eighteen years. It controlled our family and has disrupted our marriage so much that we will likely separate. We made our sn leave when he was 18. He was out of control with alcohol, friends and behaviors. It was devastting to all of us and especially him, he did not think we would ask him to leave, since then it has been two years and he refuses to talk to us so many times we have tried, & tried. We just heard he joined the military, we are devastated......we have no idea who could help us find him and we have no way of knowing if something happens to him. We all miss him so much, buy he refuses us as a family . I didn't think the pain could get worse but addthe military into the equations and now I adevastated. Any advice would be a blessing!