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General Parenting
Crying for difficult child and PTSD
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 275317" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I've had some experience with my own kids. I'd go to somebody who specializes in sexual abuse--it is such a delicate topic. You need somebody who really "gets" it. My own daughter didn't feel her body was deformed, but didn't feel pretty, even though she really is and boys were crazy about her. She did hold off on sex until she was almost eighteen, and has never been promiscuous and she did eventually get over hating sex and men--she never thought she was gay--but she did feel that the abuse was her own fault and, as she puts it, "I felt ashamed so I didn't tell anyone because I felt it was somehow my fault." She was raped at one of her friend's homes at age eight and didn't tell us until she was fourteen and I was so shocked I didn't know what to say so we cried together. Then, as if that wasn't enough, we adopted an older foster child who abused my youngest two kids--and he did it for t hree years. For some reason, maybe that he was caught, prosecuted, a nd apologized--those kids seem to be really doing well, however we got them into therapy with a sexual abuse therapist immediately and undid the adoption so that they knew we were on their side. Make sure the person is very well aware of abuse, and I think you should take her to a woman who won't judge her sexuality. My girls always did better with therapists of the same sex. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 275317, member: 1550"] I've had some experience with my own kids. I'd go to somebody who specializes in sexual abuse--it is such a delicate topic. You need somebody who really "gets" it. My own daughter didn't feel her body was deformed, but didn't feel pretty, even though she really is and boys were crazy about her. She did hold off on sex until she was almost eighteen, and has never been promiscuous and she did eventually get over hating sex and men--she never thought she was gay--but she did feel that the abuse was her own fault and, as she puts it, "I felt ashamed so I didn't tell anyone because I felt it was somehow my fault." She was raped at one of her friend's homes at age eight and didn't tell us until she was fourteen and I was so shocked I didn't know what to say so we cried together. Then, as if that wasn't enough, we adopted an older foster child who abused my youngest two kids--and he did it for t hree years. For some reason, maybe that he was caught, prosecuted, a nd apologized--those kids seem to be really doing well, however we got them into therapy with a sexual abuse therapist immediately and undid the adoption so that they knew we were on their side. Make sure the person is very well aware of abuse, and I think you should take her to a woman who won't judge her sexuality. My girls always did better with therapists of the same sex. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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