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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 472476" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi Crystal, I am so glad you are working on getting support. Dont despair. It is really hard and none of us knows why we ended up on a journey like this. I choose to believe it is to learn extreme patience and in my case to stop worrying about what others think and to become more assertive. I am not a violent person, never got in fights didn't come from violence (my did did spank like twice and yes I do remember it)...but I too have felt after he has broken a new camera, smashed a tv to the floor punched me over and over, like I want to hit. I think it is natural when your adrenalin is up. It gives me insight to how he must feel every single day when those chemicals pump thru his body as he perceives things as a threat or he panics. One time after he grabbed a lamp of mine I took his game boy to give it a time out (I gave toys a time out lots when he couldn't be placed in time out, it was just as effective) and he grabbed another thing of mine and broke it. I just reacted by smashing the game boy on the ground. It was one of the first times I saw him cry a really sad cry. I felt like the worst mom ever on the face of the earth. I was just sick. When he finally calmed down I told him I was really sorry and that was not a good choice. He wanted another right away and I said NO. I told him while I shouldn't have done that, he needed to learn that when he does things like break our house or hurt me, I too have feelings and it is not ok to hurt my feelings. I can't remember the exact words but we worked on it. I said he could have a new ds when he had three months of appropriate behavior (no breaking things no hitting) he was at a fairly good point by january so he did get one for his birthday. I have not done that again, tough Ihave taken things he likes and kept them forever...little things like those plastic bracelets with words you get everywhere, he loves those (wears dozens) . HE used to love pokemon cards and I would take those too. Not proud of it but it was the only thing that at times would work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 472476, member: 12886"] Hi Crystal, I am so glad you are working on getting support. Dont despair. It is really hard and none of us knows why we ended up on a journey like this. I choose to believe it is to learn extreme patience and in my case to stop worrying about what others think and to become more assertive. I am not a violent person, never got in fights didn't come from violence (my did did spank like twice and yes I do remember it)...but I too have felt after he has broken a new camera, smashed a tv to the floor punched me over and over, like I want to hit. I think it is natural when your adrenalin is up. It gives me insight to how he must feel every single day when those chemicals pump thru his body as he perceives things as a threat or he panics. One time after he grabbed a lamp of mine I took his game boy to give it a time out (I gave toys a time out lots when he couldn't be placed in time out, it was just as effective) and he grabbed another thing of mine and broke it. I just reacted by smashing the game boy on the ground. It was one of the first times I saw him cry a really sad cry. I felt like the worst mom ever on the face of the earth. I was just sick. When he finally calmed down I told him I was really sorry and that was not a good choice. He wanted another right away and I said NO. I told him while I shouldn't have done that, he needed to learn that when he does things like break our house or hurt me, I too have feelings and it is not ok to hurt my feelings. I can't remember the exact words but we worked on it. I said he could have a new ds when he had three months of appropriate behavior (no breaking things no hitting) he was at a fairly good point by january so he did get one for his birthday. I have not done that again, tough Ihave taken things he likes and kept them forever...little things like those plastic bracelets with words you get everywhere, he loves those (wears dozens) . HE used to love pokemon cards and I would take those too. Not proud of it but it was the only thing that at times would work. [/QUOTE]
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