Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
"Dad, don't tell them anything about me anymore, even if I'm dying"
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 676753" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Word Origin and History for apathy</p><p>n.</p><p>c.1600, "freedom from suffering," from French apathie(16c.), from Latin apathia, from Greek apatheia"<span style="color: #ff0000">freedom from suffering,</span> impassability, want of sensation," from apathes "without feeling, withoutsuffering or having suffered," from a- "without" (see<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/a-" target="_blank">a-</a> (3)) + pathos "emotion, feeling, suffering" (see<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pathos" target="_blank">pathos</a> ). <span style="color: #ff0000">Originally a </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0)">positive quality; sense of indolence of mind, indifference to what should excite is from c.1733.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I think it is brave, Serenity, to see things for what they are. In reading your heartfelt posts, this is not something you arrived at easily, <em>without trying to have a meaningful relationship. </em>If someone in our lives deliberately sets out to hurt us, there has to be some point, where boundaries are set. The heart is protected. I am sure there was a time, when you had to think things through, and weigh the cost. When the price of connecting with someone means losing yourself, then the price is unacceptable. Then it becomes "It is what it is." </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It is acceptance. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Eckhart Tolle writes:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">“Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.”</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Truth be told, there are people in this world, who will continually hurt or use others. For whatever reason. Who knows why? What is the win? We see it in our everyday lives, the bullies in society. The loss for the victim, is continual suffering. How could anyone in their right mind, want to purposely cause suffering to another human being? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">So, if this is a trait of a sibling, and one is <em>targeted</em>, then does DNA, force us to remain in a relationship that has proven, over and over, <em>that one is a victim</em>?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It is a personal decision, to protect oneself. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><em>Apathy- freedom from suffering.</em></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px">Did you mean how is it immoral to disconnect? Or moral? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><em>Moral- a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.</em></span></p><p></p><p>I think if a sister repeatedly, consciously, tries to hurt us, that hits right up there in the enemy department- <span style="color: #ff0000">from Latin <em>inimicus</em>, from <em>in-</em> ‘not’ + <em>amicus </em>‘friend.’</span></p><p></p><p>It is written "Love thy enemy."</p><p></p><p>I do not think that means cozy up to someone who repeatedly hurts you.</p><p></p><p>I think it means <em>we do not hate them. </em></p><p></p><p>Apathy, is defined as a<em> lack of emotion</em>.</p><p></p><p>Can that be translated to internal locust of control?</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I love my sister, but at this point, have decided that I cannot have a <em>closeness </em>with her. It is reality, <em>right now</em>. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Not because of the past, because she was a child, left to her devices. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">What I see from her, even now, <em>is a lack of fellow feeling</em>. There seems to be ulterior motive, <em>an agenda.</em></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">To a degree, I am still not supposed to be my own person, If I do not follow her lead, then I am rejected. It is confusing. <em>That is her</em>.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It does not mean I want her to suffer, that I would cause her grief, or stalk her. Or shun her. <em>That is not me.</em></span></p><p>So, for the time being, I am cordial. It is strange, <em>like she is an acquaintance.</em> I have found that personal discussions do not fare well. So I have <em>disconnected</em>, in a way.</p><p>Just not totally. I guess the physical distance in between us is already a form of disconnect.</p><p></p><p>I watched a program last night about twins from Korea, separated at birth, discovering one another existed, for the first time in their early 20's. They loved each other, and grieved the time they lost. They held hands, and cuddled, kissed one another. I watched, fascinated.</p><p>WOW.</p><p>I see other families, where siblings help one another, care for each other.</p><p></p><p>I also see instances where sisters have cut ties, <em>their relationship is not healthy.</em></p><p></p><p>I think that is key here. What is a healthy relationship?</p><p>Cedar wrote to me that we are supposed to heal, be whole, be healthy.</p><p></p><p>If a sibling crosses boundaries, does not care about the others feelings, baits and shuns, that is hurtful and mean. What is healthy about that?</p><p></p><p>I think the only remedy is to disconnect. We wouldn't actively seek a friendship like that. Why would we keep a relationship where we are constantly the victim, just because we were born of the same parents?</p><p></p><p>I am wondering if there is <em>already some form of attachment disorder</em> going on, with sibs from dysfunctional families?</p><p>From time immemorial, there are stories of wrongs committed against siblings.</p><p></p><p>I think one has to do what one needs to, to be healthy. If that means disconnection, so be it. We write all the time about consequences for actions.</p><p>Disconnecting is a consequence of repeated hurtful actions.</p><p>But, you know what Serenity, reflecting on this in your post, this was not your first choice, as I read it, the disconnect began long ago, with you being shunned.</p><p>You tried to reach out, and the results were not nice, or healthy for you.</p><p></p><p><img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c5/3f/8e/c53f8ee3346152b29dbc10e16a647f39.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p>This was not a solution you forced, it was forced upon you.</p><p>So, I guess the disconnect had already spontaneously emerged.</p><p></p><p>It is happening to me now.</p><p></p><p>I will just go with the flow, then.</p><p></p><p>Because really, the only person I can be is me.</p><p></p><p>I think it is a personal choice on how to deal with all of this.</p><p>There is no right or wrong.</p><p>Just nice, kind, conscientious people trying to be who they are, and live well,</p><p>which translates to be treated well, by the people they are close with.</p><p></p><p>off to the races peeps, got to cheer on the boy.......</p><p></p><p>Thank you Serenity, for the question</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 676753, member: 19522"] Word Origin and History for apathy n. c.1600, "freedom from suffering," from French apathie(16c.), from Latin apathia, from Greek apatheia"[COLOR=#ff0000]freedom from suffering,[/COLOR] impassability, want of sensation," from apathes "without feeling, withoutsuffering or having suffered," from a- "without" (see[URL='http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/a-']a-[/URL] (3)) + pathos "emotion, feeling, suffering" (see[URL='http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pathos']pathos[/URL] ). [COLOR=#ff0000]Originally a [/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)]positive quality; sense of indolence of mind, indifference to what should excite is from c.1733.[/COLOR] [SIZE=2]Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper [/SIZE] [SIZE=4] I think it is brave, Serenity, to see things for what they are. In reading your heartfelt posts, this is not something you arrived at easily, [I]without trying to have a meaningful relationship. [/I]If someone in our lives deliberately sets out to hurt us, there has to be some point, where boundaries are set. The heart is protected. I am sure there was a time, when you had to think things through, and weigh the cost. When the price of connecting with someone means losing yourself, then the price is unacceptable. Then it becomes "It is what it is." It is acceptance. Eckhart Tolle writes: “Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.” Truth be told, there are people in this world, who will continually hurt or use others. For whatever reason. Who knows why? What is the win? We see it in our everyday lives, the bullies in society. The loss for the victim, is continual suffering. How could anyone in their right mind, want to purposely cause suffering to another human being? So, if this is a trait of a sibling, and one is [I]targeted[/I], then does DNA, force us to remain in a relationship that has proven, over and over, [I]that one is a victim[/I]? It is a personal decision, to protect oneself. [I]Apathy- freedom from suffering.[/I] Did you mean how is it immoral to disconnect? Or moral? [I]Moral- a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.[/I][/SIZE] I think if a sister repeatedly, consciously, tries to hurt us, that hits right up there in the enemy department- [COLOR=#ff0000]from Latin [I]inimicus[/I], from [I]in-[/I] ‘not’ + [I]amicus [/I]‘friend.’[/COLOR] It is written "Love thy enemy." I do not think that means cozy up to someone who repeatedly hurts you. I think it means [I]we do not hate them. [/I] Apathy, is defined as a[I] lack of emotion[/I]. Can that be translated to internal locust of control? [SIZE=4] I love my sister, but at this point, have decided that I cannot have a [I]closeness [/I]with her. It is reality, [I]right now[/I]. Not because of the past, because she was a child, left to her devices. What I see from her, even now, [I]is a lack of fellow feeling[/I]. There seems to be ulterior motive, [I]an agenda.[/I] To a degree, I am still not supposed to be my own person, If I do not follow her lead, then I am rejected. It is confusing. [I]That is her[/I]. It does not mean I want her to suffer, that I would cause her grief, or stalk her. Or shun her. [I]That is not me.[/I][/SIZE] So, for the time being, I am cordial. It is strange, [I]like she is an acquaintance.[/I] I have found that personal discussions do not fare well. So I have [I]disconnected[/I], in a way. Just not totally. I guess the physical distance in between us is already a form of disconnect. I watched a program last night about twins from Korea, separated at birth, discovering one another existed, for the first time in their early 20's. They loved each other, and grieved the time they lost. They held hands, and cuddled, kissed one another. I watched, fascinated. WOW. I see other families, where siblings help one another, care for each other. I also see instances where sisters have cut ties, [I]their relationship is not healthy.[/I] I think that is key here. What is a healthy relationship? Cedar wrote to me that we are supposed to heal, be whole, be healthy. If a sibling crosses boundaries, does not care about the others feelings, baits and shuns, that is hurtful and mean. What is healthy about that? I think the only remedy is to disconnect. We wouldn't actively seek a friendship like that. Why would we keep a relationship where we are constantly the victim, just because we were born of the same parents? I am wondering if there is [I]already some form of attachment disorder[/I] going on, with sibs from dysfunctional families? From time immemorial, there are stories of wrongs committed against siblings. I think one has to do what one needs to, to be healthy. If that means disconnection, so be it. We write all the time about consequences for actions. Disconnecting is a consequence of repeated hurtful actions. But, you know what Serenity, reflecting on this in your post, this was not your first choice, as I read it, the disconnect began long ago, with you being shunned. You tried to reach out, and the results were not nice, or healthy for you. [IMG]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c5/3f/8e/c53f8ee3346152b29dbc10e16a647f39.jpg[/IMG] This was not a solution you forced, it was forced upon you. So, I guess the disconnect had already spontaneously emerged. It is happening to me now. I will just go with the flow, then. Because really, the only person I can be is me. I think it is a personal choice on how to deal with all of this. There is no right or wrong. Just nice, kind, conscientious people trying to be who they are, and live well, which translates to be treated well, by the people they are close with. off to the races peeps, got to cheer on the boy....... Thank you Serenity, for the question (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
"Dad, don't tell them anything about me anymore, even if I'm dying"
Top