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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 680935" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Devastated, it's hard to know what and how much to say. The money (and other items) that our kids steal from us is an after thought to the betrayal we feel. I know it adds insult to injury because it was an inheritance from your mom. I hate that your other daughter was inplicatef, but you had no idea.</p><p></p><p>I would think your older daughter will forgive you, knowing that you just wanted answers. Just be vulnerable and tell her how you feel. Just the fact that it was such a surprise shows the you've raised your kids in a way that it wasn't on your radar that they could do this. That's a good thing.</p><p></p><p>My son and his friends stole a lot of items from me. The two things that hurt the most was a wedding ring belonging to my deceased grandmother (probably only worth $200) and a pink diamond jewel ring (new, worth $400) that my husband had just bought for our 15 year anniversary. My husband and I rarely buy gifts for one another, so it was special to me. It's the two things he still to this day won't admit to.</p><p></p><p>I know in my heart it was him. Throughout this journey of his addiction, I've always wondered if I say the right or wrong thing what will happen. At the end of the day, just say what's on your heart. Trust your own instincts. You are no doubt an intelligent, beautiful person and worthy of your feelings. </p><p></p><p>One thing I said that made me feel better was that I was changing locks and someone had to be home for him to be here. I reassured him I love you, but don't trust you. I didn't raise you to steal. It's not our values, and I won't take on the consequences for you...one of which you having to earn back trust.</p><p></p><p>Don't beat yourself up. No one gives us a manual for when people do stupid, dishonest things. Trust in yourself and your choices. You can do this!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 680935, member: 19892"] Devastated, it's hard to know what and how much to say. The money (and other items) that our kids steal from us is an after thought to the betrayal we feel. I know it adds insult to injury because it was an inheritance from your mom. I hate that your other daughter was inplicatef, but you had no idea. I would think your older daughter will forgive you, knowing that you just wanted answers. Just be vulnerable and tell her how you feel. Just the fact that it was such a surprise shows the you've raised your kids in a way that it wasn't on your radar that they could do this. That's a good thing. My son and his friends stole a lot of items from me. The two things that hurt the most was a wedding ring belonging to my deceased grandmother (probably only worth $200) and a pink diamond jewel ring (new, worth $400) that my husband had just bought for our 15 year anniversary. My husband and I rarely buy gifts for one another, so it was special to me. It's the two things he still to this day won't admit to. I know in my heart it was him. Throughout this journey of his addiction, I've always wondered if I say the right or wrong thing what will happen. At the end of the day, just say what's on your heart. Trust your own instincts. You are no doubt an intelligent, beautiful person and worthy of your feelings. One thing I said that made me feel better was that I was changing locks and someone had to be home for him to be here. I reassured him I love you, but don't trust you. I didn't raise you to steal. It's not our values, and I won't take on the consequences for you...one of which you having to earn back trust. Don't beat yourself up. No one gives us a manual for when people do stupid, dishonest things. Trust in yourself and your choices. You can do this! [/QUOTE]
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