Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Daughter 24 stole from me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 681064" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Devastated, You have landed in a safe place. I have not commented so far, but have been following your post since beginning. Others have shared deep wisdom and understanding pertaining to your situation. You are definitely not alone on this site. I have found the sharing and caring here and the process of posting more valuable than a therapist.</p><p></p><p>I am a type of person who sometimes has difficulty expressing my real caring / emotional thoughts clearly and calmly in talking directly to someone, when I am upset or have uncomfortable feelings. I wish this was not so, as I do not like it about myself. It is a handicap really to be too sensitive and emotional. Now that I am learning and progressing in detachment, this handicap is improving. However, since I have long understood that my emotional and often tearful attempts to convey feelings and thoughts in speech did not come across well to the other person, and made it harder for myself, I sometimes did resort to writing it out in a letter. It helped me.</p><p></p><p>If you think writing something to your daughter would help you, I do NOT recommend a long letter detailing all your feelings and concerns. There’s no need and it would make it worse, I think, to release an explosion of everything you have bottled up. Leafy’s idea to journal those words for yourself is great way to let it out.</p><p></p><p>But if you want to clear the air a bit and release some tension in interacting with your daughter, and if you want to be honest and caring with her about how your relationship has now changed as a result of what happened, it might help you and her if you wrote a short note only, to just concisely and simply and factually express to your daughter the truth of the current “<em>new normal</em>.” I’m not sure what all you are feeling and want to say, but if it was me, I think I would feel like just clearly stating the facts, saying something like the following thoughts / notes, keeping detached:</p><p></p><p><em> … I feel as if everything is bottled up inside and am confused…. Am trying to understand what has happened …. Sense that our conversations are strained and feeling kind of distant … I feel hurt and betrayed by what happened, and am wondering how relationships can be mended… It will take time to work it out for myself - to process the healing of the situation … that we cannot pretend and act as if nothing has happened ... but as I feel my way day by day, and see good changes, I’m hopeful for better days. We will work it out. Thank you for understanding.</em> (Just leave it at that – no explosion of bottled up hurt and pain and anger)</p><p></p><p>You may be able to say / speak the above type of thoughts to her personally without emotion and having it escalate. And that may be fine, depending on your relationship. For myself, in some situations, I found writing it out simply and to the point was better for me.</p><p></p><p>Just know that this is all going to take time. It will not be over quickly.</p><p>Just know that <em>you are going to be alright</em>. Stay with us. ~ Kalahou</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 681064, member: 19617"] Devastated, You have landed in a safe place. I have not commented so far, but have been following your post since beginning. Others have shared deep wisdom and understanding pertaining to your situation. You are definitely not alone on this site. I have found the sharing and caring here and the process of posting more valuable than a therapist. I am a type of person who sometimes has difficulty expressing my real caring / emotional thoughts clearly and calmly in talking directly to someone, when I am upset or have uncomfortable feelings. I wish this was not so, as I do not like it about myself. It is a handicap really to be too sensitive and emotional. Now that I am learning and progressing in detachment, this handicap is improving. However, since I have long understood that my emotional and often tearful attempts to convey feelings and thoughts in speech did not come across well to the other person, and made it harder for myself, I sometimes did resort to writing it out in a letter. It helped me. If you think writing something to your daughter would help you, I do NOT recommend a long letter detailing all your feelings and concerns. There’s no need and it would make it worse, I think, to release an explosion of everything you have bottled up. Leafy’s idea to journal those words for yourself is great way to let it out. But if you want to clear the air a bit and release some tension in interacting with your daughter, and if you want to be honest and caring with her about how your relationship has now changed as a result of what happened, it might help you and her if you wrote a short note only, to just concisely and simply and factually express to your daughter the truth of the current “[I]new normal[/I].” I’m not sure what all you are feeling and want to say, but if it was me, I think I would feel like just clearly stating the facts, saying something like the following thoughts / notes, keeping detached: [I] … I feel as if everything is bottled up inside and am confused…. Am trying to understand what has happened …. Sense that our conversations are strained and feeling kind of distant … I feel hurt and betrayed by what happened, and am wondering how relationships can be mended… It will take time to work it out for myself - to process the healing of the situation … that we cannot pretend and act as if nothing has happened ... but as I feel my way day by day, and see good changes, I’m hopeful for better days. We will work it out. Thank you for understanding.[/I] (Just leave it at that – no explosion of bottled up hurt and pain and anger) You may be able to say / speak the above type of thoughts to her personally without emotion and having it escalate. And that may be fine, depending on your relationship. For myself, in some situations, I found writing it out simply and to the point was better for me. Just know that this is all going to take time. It will not be over quickly. Just know that [I]you are going to be alright[/I]. Stay with us. ~ Kalahou [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Daughter 24 stole from me
Top