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Daughter Being Mean to Other Kids
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<blockquote data-quote="1234567" data-source="post: 359976"><p>Thanks for all the opinions!</p><p> </p><p>I don't think Aspberger's or anything on the spectrum is what's going on here, and although I'm fairly educated on those topics I will do some more research to get more information. I work as a counselor, although what I do is more college/career planning, I have taken some psychopathology classes and this could be a case of me knowing too much and worrying. I have been very stressed at work lately, which manifests itself into anxiety, which manifests me into working myself up almost into panic attacks. I found a spot on my chest the other day, and within ten minutes I had diagnosed my self with skin cancer that had spread and left my children motherless. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> So....my worrying about things certainly isn't new, but I also want to deal with her behavior appropriately and nip it in the bud whatever the cause.</p><p> </p><p> I think that she does okay most of the time, but then something like this will happen and I see all the other nice, quiet, compliant kids in class and she is always questioning why we do things or giving her opinions on things and they all seem so easy compared to her. She has a case of pain-in-the-ass-itis. </p><p> </p><p>Example: She had a program at school on Friday. Sitting down for a long period of time is never easy for her but she can do it now and rarely gets in trouble at circle time or during story time any more. She does pout if she doesn't get to sit by the teacher, etc., but she can focus for short periods of time. During the program at school, the kids from each class did a song. Her song was 3 out of 6 maybe. After her song, she ran over to the teacher. Teacher looked annoyed and shewed her back to her seat. She walked back over to her seat sadly. After the last song, she ran back over to teacher. Keep in mind all the other little children have managed to be still all this time. The second time, the teacher nods and she runs to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>After the show, teacher comes up to me and asks if she goes to the bathroom a lot at home. I'm pretty incredulous, like I understand the whole rudness issue above and am glad she told me, but now she is criticizing bathroom use? When we get in the car I ask her if she goes to the bathroom a lot at school and she says yes, but then follows up with, "But Mom, sometimes I stay a long time because we have been practicing and practicing that song over and over again, and it's nice to get away." <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /> I was like OMG don't ask to go to the bathroom unless you have to GO or they are not going to let you go when you ask anymore. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Then I ask her if she asked her teacher to go to the bathroom twice. She said no, and I asked what she asked her the first time when she got sent back to her spot. She said, "Oh, I just told her my growin' pains were back." Can you imagine, in the middle of a show, a little kid coming up to you to discuss their growing pains? </p><p> </p><p>I've turned off Disney Channel---she loved Hannah and Wizards, but while I love them too, they are a little mouthy and she emulates things she sees as funny. We've also been role playing. I put one donut on the plate and told her that she and her Daddy both wanted that donut and it was the last one, what should she do? While I was going for offering the donut to the other person, instead she broke it in half and called it even. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> That worked as well, I guess. </p><p> </p><p>She is very competitive. While I don't know she has a disorder, I do not think she is typical. At gymnastics, for example, there are maybe six kids in her class. When the owner yells ROTATE, they finish their turn and then the teacher will call them to line up. As soon as she hears rotate, she stops what she is doing and starts eying the other kids to make sure when the teacher calls them she will be first in line. Then she races to beat them all. This week I told her she may be first once, then she is not allowed to even try for the front of the line until the other kids have had a turn. She was first the first time, then I noticed the other little girl was first (only two there this week). As they march past me, I hear my kid say that she "let" the other little girl go first. It would be nice for her to just chill out sometime and go with the flow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1234567, post: 359976"] Thanks for all the opinions! I don't think Aspberger's or anything on the spectrum is what's going on here, and although I'm fairly educated on those topics I will do some more research to get more information. I work as a counselor, although what I do is more college/career planning, I have taken some psychopathology classes and this could be a case of me knowing too much and worrying. I have been very stressed at work lately, which manifests itself into anxiety, which manifests me into working myself up almost into panic attacks. I found a spot on my chest the other day, and within ten minutes I had diagnosed my self with skin cancer that had spread and left my children motherless. ;) So....my worrying about things certainly isn't new, but I also want to deal with her behavior appropriately and nip it in the bud whatever the cause. I think that she does okay most of the time, but then something like this will happen and I see all the other nice, quiet, compliant kids in class and she is always questioning why we do things or giving her opinions on things and they all seem so easy compared to her. She has a case of pain-in-the-ass-itis. Example: She had a program at school on Friday. Sitting down for a long period of time is never easy for her but she can do it now and rarely gets in trouble at circle time or during story time any more. She does pout if she doesn't get to sit by the teacher, etc., but she can focus for short periods of time. During the program at school, the kids from each class did a song. Her song was 3 out of 6 maybe. After her song, she ran over to the teacher. Teacher looked annoyed and shewed her back to her seat. She walked back over to her seat sadly. After the last song, she ran back over to teacher. Keep in mind all the other little children have managed to be still all this time. The second time, the teacher nods and she runs to the bathroom. After the show, teacher comes up to me and asks if she goes to the bathroom a lot at home. I'm pretty incredulous, like I understand the whole rudness issue above and am glad she told me, but now she is criticizing bathroom use? When we get in the car I ask her if she goes to the bathroom a lot at school and she says yes, but then follows up with, "But Mom, sometimes I stay a long time because we have been practicing and practicing that song over and over again, and it's nice to get away." :knockedout: I was like OMG don't ask to go to the bathroom unless you have to GO or they are not going to let you go when you ask anymore. Then I ask her if she asked her teacher to go to the bathroom twice. She said no, and I asked what she asked her the first time when she got sent back to her spot. She said, "Oh, I just told her my growin' pains were back." Can you imagine, in the middle of a show, a little kid coming up to you to discuss their growing pains? I've turned off Disney Channel---she loved Hannah and Wizards, but while I love them too, they are a little mouthy and she emulates things she sees as funny. We've also been role playing. I put one donut on the plate and told her that she and her Daddy both wanted that donut and it was the last one, what should she do? While I was going for offering the donut to the other person, instead she broke it in half and called it even. ;) That worked as well, I guess. She is very competitive. While I don't know she has a disorder, I do not think she is typical. At gymnastics, for example, there are maybe six kids in her class. When the owner yells ROTATE, they finish their turn and then the teacher will call them to line up. As soon as she hears rotate, she stops what she is doing and starts eying the other kids to make sure when the teacher calls them she will be first in line. Then she races to beat them all. This week I told her she may be first once, then she is not allowed to even try for the front of the line until the other kids have had a turn. She was first the first time, then I noticed the other little girl was first (only two there this week). As they march past me, I hear my kid say that she "let" the other little girl go first. It would be nice for her to just chill out sometime and go with the flow. [/QUOTE]
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