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Parent Emeritus
Daughter Homeless Again...I Cant Help Her...Feeling Guilty.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674309" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi MommaRN</p><p></p><p>I am saying a belated welcome here, and offering my support. </p><p></p><p>Do not take abuse. Rule number one. I did so for too long. Our children are adults who are responsible for their own choices and their own behavior. We are not responsible anymore. That took me too long to learn. </p><p></p><p>The only possibility for them to change is to experience the consequences of how they live. I would not tolerate one iota of her abuse. </p><p></p><p>If you have to cut off contact completely with her, including social media, so be it.</p><p></p><p>To me, her tirades to you are abuse. </p><p></p><p>Why would you feel guilty for behaviors and choices that were entirely hers? </p><p></p><p>I have a 27 year old son. Since beginning on this forum in May I have gotten stronger and stronger. I no longer believe I have to rescue him. At all. Now I am seeing, I do not have to have contact with him at all if he acts abusively towards me. I get a phone call from him, and I am sick for days. I am at the point I do not even want phone contact. He is mean to me and acts aggressively. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of treatment. I have only loved him, perhaps too much.</p><p></p><p>I am seeing my life as completely separate from his. He is an adult. Who chooses to live in a certain way. What in the world does that have to do with me? Not a thing, unless I allow it too. I want to live fully and well for the time I have left. If I get sick when I interact with my son, it is on me to change that and to protect myself. I am.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. We are glad you are here, and we understand how hard this is. </p><p></p><p>You do not deserve this pain and distress. If it is cold outside, let your daughter take advantage of plentiful community resources to get warm, instead of using one person after another.</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. Your daughter is her own responsibility. </p><p></p><p>Insulate yourself, as much as you need to.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674309, member: 18958"] Hi MommaRN I am saying a belated welcome here, and offering my support. Do not take abuse. Rule number one. I did so for too long. Our children are adults who are responsible for their own choices and their own behavior. We are not responsible anymore. That took me too long to learn. The only possibility for them to change is to experience the consequences of how they live. I would not tolerate one iota of her abuse. If you have to cut off contact completely with her, including social media, so be it. To me, her tirades to you are abuse. Why would you feel guilty for behaviors and choices that were entirely hers? I have a 27 year old son. Since beginning on this forum in May I have gotten stronger and stronger. I no longer believe I have to rescue him. At all. Now I am seeing, I do not have to have contact with him at all if he acts abusively towards me. I get a phone call from him, and I am sick for days. I am at the point I do not even want phone contact. He is mean to me and acts aggressively. I have done nothing to warrant this kind of treatment. I have only loved him, perhaps too much. I am seeing my life as completely separate from his. He is an adult. Who chooses to live in a certain way. What in the world does that have to do with me? Not a thing, unless I allow it too. I want to live fully and well for the time I have left. If I get sick when I interact with my son, it is on me to change that and to protect myself. I am. Keep posting. We are glad you are here, and we understand how hard this is. You do not deserve this pain and distress. If it is cold outside, let your daughter take advantage of plentiful community resources to get warm, instead of using one person after another. Take care of yourself. Your daughter is her own responsibility. Insulate yourself, as much as you need to. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Daughter Homeless Again...I Cant Help Her...Feeling Guilty.
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