Daughter lies

[Raven21901]

Have you ever had a child that lies about everything. My daughter lies about everything. Well at least the last time she talked to me she was still up to lying. She would say that she has this great job and travels alot and makes alot of money. Even though she does not contact me I still keep tabs on her. I know where she works and she has her own place. I am proud that she is working and standing on her own to feet and not asking me for money like she used to. I have told her that. I do not know why she needs to lie. She tells everyone lies. Heck for all I know she is telling the new people in her life that she has no family at all. They have to wonder why noone from her past never contacts her. Hard to tell what she tells them. She used to steal and would have a hard time holding a job. Last month I sent a txt message and said I would be in her area I would like to see her because it is near her birthday. She txted me back and said she would be out of town on business. She used to make up stories that people were after her and they were going to hurt her. This is when she lived with me. I tried to get her into therapy but she swears there is nothing wrong with her.

 

[Hound dog]

Welcome

And sounds like daughter has some big issues going on.........not enough info but sounds suspiciously like borderline disorder. And yeah..........I have a husband that used to lie 99 percent of the time over the dumbest things on earth just because I think......well heck I still don't know why. lol Finally broke him of it several yrs into the marriage........the man just also happens to stink at lying. lol

Unfortunately since she is an adult it has to be her that seeks out the help, but first she has to see there is a problem.

Hugs

 

[AnnieO]

Welcome!!! Lots of hugs.

I understand this. Actually I can understand this from a difficult child point of view, too - sort of.

I used to lie - a LOT. Mostly really stupid stuff, too - I guess I thought I was boring and wanted to be more interesting. Like my real name was Cassandra. Or I had had a twin. That I was in Cub Scouts when I was very young because there wasn't a Brownie troop. I mean, DUMB stuff.

I found out the hard way that it's hard to remember multiple versions of a story, and sometimes, you say something often enough that you believe it's true.

Honestly, now, it's too much trouble to think up an alternate/parallel reality. So I stick with the truth - or when that won't work, I shut my mouth.

There are a lot of reasons for lying... I can't pretend to know all of them. I just wanted to seem cooler than I was.

I'm not cool. Not at all! But I am myself now, which I like a lot...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Step, I swear we have so much in common!

I used to lie as a teenager. I would even talk in an british accent and tell people I was from England! LMAO - yup, I lied about a lot of dumb things to make me look more appealing. I think about it now and can't believe hwo silly it all was. Oh and of course my age - always lied about my age.

Raven, if she isn't living with you or asking you for anything, I would let it be. But for sure, you are so not alone there!

 

[dashcat]

Welcome, Raven. I'm right there with you. My difficult child, who refuses to see a therapist or psychiatrist and is, therefore, undiagnosed, has lied for most of her life. In recent years, as her difficult child-ness bloomed, it has gotten worse. She is 19 and currently living with her dad. He also lies, but his lies are about his own self-protection (such as "that young blonde whose love letters you found is merely a friend"). She lies to self-protect but also tells big story-telling lies and also bizarre no-reason lies. It is very frustrating. I tried everything I could think of as she was growing up, but I could not stop the lies. Now that she's 19 and no longer under my roof, I am learning to let it go. I still hold her accountable for the big stuff (she is not allowed to use my car because she picked up a strange dude she met on the internet instead of going to the mall with a friend, as she had told me).
Patriot's Girl and Step: you give me hope that she might actually - some day - decide it isn't worth it.
Dash

 

[Raven21901]

Thank you for all your kind words. I am new here so I am unsure what all the lingo means like difficult child and such so please bear with me. The ones that posted that they used to lie and do longer I appreciate that because I am hoping that my daughter no longer does this but since she has cut me out of her life I have no way of knowing this. I know her dad has alot of personality disorders. When he was in the hospital for his drinking he was diagnosed for anti-social behavior, bi-polar, narcissism, sex addiction and I can't remember what else.