Hi all - I don't post here a whole lot, but I do read regularly and reply occasionally. There is so much heartache and experience here and I've learned so much over the last couple of years that I've been here. A few days after Christmas my estranged daughter sent me a FB friend request. I pondered it for a few days, then I deleted it. I admit that I secretly look at her FB (through a friend who is a FB of hers), to see what is going on with her, that she's safe...stupid thing to do, I know, but... Now she has sent me a private FB msg, saying "I know we don't get along, but I wanna have a relationship with you." My stomach has been in knots ever since I read it. The last time I heard from her (even though she lives in the same town) was almost a year ago...you can read the details about that in my signature. I can't help but think she wants something from me. I KNOW she wants something from me. I haven't responded yet, I'm struggling with HOW to respond or if I even should. I'm her MOTHER, I HAVE to respond. Or do I? This is what I have for a potential response so far: "I don't know how to respond. Almost a year ago, you reached out to me and we met over at the mall and then went out to dinner. I was overjoyed to see you Xxxxxxxxx, to spend time with you. I really believed that we were on our way to repairing our relationship. But then...nothing. You immediately severed all contact again, with no explanation, no apparent reason...nothing. Believe me, there is nothing I would like more in this lifetime than to have a loving and healthy relationship with my adult daughter. You're funny, smart, beautiful and you can be so tender and kind, but honestly, I'm afraid." I just feel dread...sick to my stomach...anxious...and I feel so much guilt, sorrow and heartache that I feel like this.