Daughter's Deep Dark Secret

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DazedandConfused, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Most mornings are a battle on my house. I won’t go into details, but Daughter did something really weird this morning.

    We were arguing (as usual), and even though I was speaking in a calm, yet firm voice, she kept saying over and over, “Mom! Stop yelling at me!” Frankly, she was the one yelling.

    Whenever she and I get into it, she begins her “you don’t know what my life is like” mantra. Basically, it’s everything-is-horrible-in-my-life song and dance. One minute everything is great, and then, the big switch. Especially, when I’m getting after her for something.

    However, this morning she pulled a new stunt. I guess to deliver the coupe de gras to really devastate me she said, “Well, YOU don’t know my deep dark secret! And, if you did, you would cry!” Daughter is always going on about how something is going to happen to her and I’m going to cry. Probably because I am rather stoic when it comes to her. I’ve had to be. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to help her I would be falling apart all the time. So, I ask calmly “Are you pregnant?” “No, I’m not pregnant” she responds. “Good”, I say. I continue with, “Well, I’m looking at you, so I KNOW you’re not dead” Those are the two things I would definitely cry over.

    So, we all head out to the car and we head off. Daughter hooked up to her IPOD. I get the courage and ask, “So what is your deep dark secret?” (Daughter is not good at secrets). Daughter responds, “Nothing”. Me, “Huh, why did you say that then?” Her: “I dunno”

    I ask again. She still says she doesn’t know.

    Then, she gets out of the car, says goodbye, and heads off to class.

    :slap:
     
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oooh sneaky one... that would drive me crazy. Even if she was just messing with- you. I would wonder about it, what could it be??? If it is not pregnant? Drugs??? What could she be up to that would be a secret, or is it just something she said

    These kind of topics make me wish mine would never grow up... as my difficult child is lying here sick fully entranced in a Blues Clues video...
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh the drama of a young female teen.....YUCK!!! I feel your pain!

    :slap:

    Oh and forget about the deep dark secret as one probably does not exist and even if it does you most likely will never know and frankly probably would prefer it that way. Our parents never knew ours. It is the way it is supposed to be.

     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    and with you being a librarian...lol I cannot help but think of how quiet your work element is, and well, home is at a roar!

    teen girls are always dramatic it seems. my big sis used to stomp up the stairs and we thought they would break! I worry more when she is sullen and withdrawn, too quiet.

    still...has to be so hard! I *used to* cry a lot. ant would call me a cry baby as did his dad. grrrrr

    now I seldom cry or if I do, it is not as long. seems I know it doesnt change things.

    you say she is a mostly a pretty good kid. I am happy for that!
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Dazed

    There is nothing like the drama of a female teen. Believe me, I've gone thru 2. lol Nope, not fun.

    I'd look at it this way, if there is a secret she's not gonna tell you til she's good and ready. Nothing you can do about it. You did ask. If there isn't, well you didn't play into her drama.

    Most teens have secrets from their parents. I think it's a part of growing up. And if they didn't, parents probably wouldn't last thru the teen years. I know if my Mom had had a clue about what her kids were really up to during their teens, instead of just the small amount she did know about, she'd have had a nervous breakdown. :devil:

    N used to say something along these lines. I think I asked her a couple of times once the heated moment had passed what she meant. She said nothing. I decided if there was something, she'd tell me eventually when she was ready. And don't worry about it. I refuse to play into her drama. And that drama has all but disappeared these days. I haven't heard a hint about this sort of thing in a long time. So, I'm thinking it was just the "all teens think they have it so rough" thing.

    My Mom never had to put up with this type of drama. Us kids were too terrified of her to dare to express our feelings to her. In the back of my mind I always would grin when my kids did just because they weren't afraid to express how they felt with me. (weird huh?)
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    “Are you pregnant?” “No, I’m not pregnant” she responds. “Good”, I say. I continue with, “Well, I’m looking at you, so I KNOW you’re not dead” Those are the two things I would definitely cry over.


    Oh, Dazed, through it all, you have perspective and a sense of humor. ;)I agree with-everyone... IF there is a secret, she won't tell you until she's ready. If there's not, there's not. And you're right, she's still alive and still childless. So far, so good!
     
  7. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Doesn't sound like there is a "secret"... just another form of drama in my opinion.
    Not sure I would tell her that her being pregnant would make me cry. :slap: She might try to use that next time just for shock value.

    Steph
     
  8. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Nah, there's no secret. At least, not a deep dark one. She was just trying to get a rise out of me. When she gets in that frame of mind she will blurt things she regrets later (but then, don't most of them do that?). I had secrets as a teenager, too. So, I understand she may a few herself.

    Daughter is the reigning QUEEN of drama. Always has been since she was little. Drives me nuts. Most of the time I can detach, but every once in a while, she will catch me in a weak moment. Then, next thing I know, it's a screaming match between her and I.

    Yes, she's a pretty good kid. Certainy not perfect by any means. I've caught her in a couple of lies that earned her some tough consequences. The middle school years were horrible. High school, though still tough for her emotionally, are nothing compared to those times. I still shudder when I think back about them. medications and therapy have helped a lot.

    She's talking about getting her drivers permit. My first thought was, "yeah, right". But, then I decided to make it a carrot for her. I told her there was no way I was putting her behind the wheel of a car until she grows up and begin to act a bit more reasonable and mature. She's still very impulsive.

    My sense of humor is my saving grace. It always has been. I'm pretty high strung emotionally (Gee, where DOES Daughter get the gift of drama from??)and the ability to sometimes find the humor in a situation with my difficult children helps me not to feel so down at times. Between her, and son, fighting and then the two of them trying to do their version of a WWF Smackdown in the livingroom, and everything else, it's nice to manage a little laughter.
     
  9. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Oh, I have to share this too.

    husband and I took the kids to a local county fair last month. As we are walking into the entrance, Daughter says to husband, "Dad, I'm going to be pregnant on March 8th!"

    Poor husband, I think his heart skipped a beat he was so taken by suprise. :surprise: :faint:

    So, after practically peeling husband off the ground I told Daughter that she better explain to her father what she meant. To his relief she explain that one of the requirements of her Child Development class is that she wear one of those pregnancy bellys for a day at school. Her assigned day is March 8th.
     
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