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Parent Emeritus
Daughter's in jail. Again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 338958" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi Bean, </p><p></p><p>I'm another one who called, and I know where you are coming from. Although this morning if you read my post about last night? My difficult child called 911 on himself. (OMG it just gets better and better doesn't it?) </p><p></p><p>I wish I could tell you when the detachment finally hits you that X here is their life to mess up as they will and nothing they do will effect your psyche and over here X is your life free from all encumbrances. It's taken me almost a year to just process what Steven was doing when he wrecked his car and killed himself, his uncle and another young man. Drug related all the while trying to maintain to us a squeeky clean lifestyle. I wasn't even over grieving when I was hit with the drug information. Ton of bricks. Had I known? Would I have turned him in? Yes. He knew it too, so there's part of the reason for the lies. The other was I think seeking approval from the only parents who gave a hang about what he did. Like you with your daughter - someone has to be the parent. Someone has to say - THIS IS NOT RIGHT, and I care enough to do this, and this, and this - no matter how much it hurts me. </p><p></p><p>Parenting is not for the weak. It should say THAT on the little tshirt they put on them in the hospital, not "I'm a cutie." But then we never think when they're born that they could ever possibly do what they are doing now. There's no preparation for that. I think that's what hit's us so hard. I feel blindsided and I know a lot of whats going to happen because I read it from parents in PE, but still part of me keeps thinking like a hopeful person - NOT MY SON. I'm a detachment work in progress. Mostly because I don't want to be hurt so much, so there IS something left of me to give my son when he's done being such a dunderhead. Not a bitter shell of a tired Mom. </p><p></p><p>You did the right thing. Breath, sleep well, take care of you now. Find peace where you can and plan what you can for whenever she gets out. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 338958, member: 4964"] Hi Bean, I'm another one who called, and I know where you are coming from. Although this morning if you read my post about last night? My difficult child called 911 on himself. (OMG it just gets better and better doesn't it?) I wish I could tell you when the detachment finally hits you that X here is their life to mess up as they will and nothing they do will effect your psyche and over here X is your life free from all encumbrances. It's taken me almost a year to just process what Steven was doing when he wrecked his car and killed himself, his uncle and another young man. Drug related all the while trying to maintain to us a squeeky clean lifestyle. I wasn't even over grieving when I was hit with the drug information. Ton of bricks. Had I known? Would I have turned him in? Yes. He knew it too, so there's part of the reason for the lies. The other was I think seeking approval from the only parents who gave a hang about what he did. Like you with your daughter - someone has to be the parent. Someone has to say - THIS IS NOT RIGHT, and I care enough to do this, and this, and this - no matter how much it hurts me. Parenting is not for the weak. It should say THAT on the little tshirt they put on them in the hospital, not "I'm a cutie." But then we never think when they're born that they could ever possibly do what they are doing now. There's no preparation for that. I think that's what hit's us so hard. I feel blindsided and I know a lot of whats going to happen because I read it from parents in PE, but still part of me keeps thinking like a hopeful person - NOT MY SON. I'm a detachment work in progress. Mostly because I don't want to be hurt so much, so there IS something left of me to give my son when he's done being such a dunderhead. Not a bitter shell of a tired Mom. You did the right thing. Breath, sleep well, take care of you now. Find peace where you can and plan what you can for whenever she gets out. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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Daughter's in jail. Again.
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