DavidWH - UpDate - & Lost user info

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DavidH, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. DavidH

    DavidH Guest

    Hello all...

    I lost my login info on this site for DavidWH no clue what the sign on name was! ugg

    I have been away for a bit only because I needed to concentrate on me and put into action things I need to do for myself before my Justin comes home.

    Well first thing is after my silly (stupid) stunt of walking out on the new job, I got a call a number of days afterwards from the owner begging me to forgive him for the stunts he pulled and told me all about his issues and it was his personal problem and he asked me to come back to work for him and assured me that things would be different as long as I did the same type of job for him I had done the first month. So I told him I was sorry for walking out like I did and that it was a stupid thing but with all going on in my life I was not thinking clear myself so we are pretty much in the same boat... So we let by-gones be by-gones and I am back to the job. And all is going fine

    Justin is STILL doing great - he is working on his first overnight pass that will happen on Jan. 30th he will have 24 hours at home.

    He did mess up about a week ago, funny to say but I was glad he did mess up, they were having a group huddle and he was bringing up some issue he wanted support with (no clue what) and he did not give much info so the counselor kept asking him to give more details and I guess it was like pulling teeth Justin did not want to say any more, so Justin got frustrated and showed it - then he got removed from the group and set outside with another counselor and begin calling him names and throwing things - ---- - But the best part is it only lasted a few moments and he pulled him self togather and told everyone he was sorry, he was punished by being put to work the next day and did great and was allowed back into the group that AM. The great thing is he pulled himself togather and realized he did this himself and he was in control of it and took the responsible road and did the right thing.

    He told me about it, and said yea Daddy I did a stupid thing... I simply said Justin... it was not stupid, yea you messed up, but you fixed it and now it is over, right... he said yes and I said good job!

    So it is good in a way that he messed up... it shows me that even though he has been doing great even if it was all fake just to be removed from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he was not able to keep up the front, or it is clear to me he is really learning... I simply told myself.. this is why he is still there, let the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) deal with it and go on.

    Went back to the phyciatrist told him I could not see or feel any difference in myself since begging the medications.. He was not happy I admited still drinking I told him I am fighting it and not drinking near what I was - so he simply said no change in medications come back in two weeks see if anything is different - and get the drinking under control.

    My Monster that darn drinking.. I hate it but am glad I see it as a crutch and have lowered it a great deal.. but man it is no easy - but I will beat it.

    Hope all have been doing great past few weeks, I have a ton of reading to catch up on.

    Have a wonderful day
  2. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Glad you are back. I was thinking about you the other day and was hoping things were going okay. Glad to hear that you and the boss worked things out. One less stressful thing for you.

    Good to hear that Justin will be getting a 24 hour pass. Enjoy the time with him. He sounds like he is opening up some at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), which is a great thing.
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    It all sounds good. Congrats on you and your boss both being men enough to admit you made mistakes.

    Justin is doing a super job! Both of you should be very proud of each other.

    One thing on his first overnight. Try not to make it a Disneyland visit. Do things as close to normal as possible. It really is important so that he can start using his tools before he comes home. The less out of routine, the more he will begin to see that there are ways to entertain oneself's without getting into trouble; that there are better ways to handle every day frustrations than raging, etc.

    David, as to your drinking, if it is that hard to stop alone, go to AA and get help. There is no shame in asking for help when needed. There is shame in letting pride stand in the way of succeeding.

    Oh, and welcome back!
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Welcome back David.

    It does sound like things are taking a turn for the positive, both with you and with Justin.

    I'm very glad to hear that you and your boss worked things out, and you were able to return to work. Maybe this will be the foundation of a great working relationship. I wish you all the best with it.

    And, I second Meowbunny's advice.
    When Justin comes home for his first visit, try to stick as closely to the normal routine as possible. It will help to keep things calm. My difficult child's first visit home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was at Christmas. It was next to impossible to keep a normal calm routine with all of the Christmas activities going on, and as a result, difficult child's behaviour became...well...impossible. Having Justin's first visit home at a time when there are no external celebrations going on and you can focus on just spending time together is a great thing.

    As for the drinking, please go and talk to someone. Others have recommended AA, and I think it's a good idea. It's very hard to make the changes you need in order to stop using the drink as a crutch unless you have a strong support system in place. AA is that system.

    All the best,
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    So .....while you were gone - what did you get me?

    I didn't know you were an alcoholic - but I'm glad you recognize that and are able to share. Is it possible that you could get yourself to try an AA meeting? Some medications react/interact with alcohol making them less efficient. FYI.

    Glad to hear J is doing well, and I KWYM about messing up - it makes everyone else SEE what YOU see - finally the parent isn't the crazy person. Er...supposed crazy person.

    Good to see you back -