Day 3 of PHP

[StressedM0mma]

And she was up and ready on time. But, before anyone gets excited and cheer, the weekend was $h!t to say the least. I am so tired of crying over this child of mine. Friday night she stayed up all night from what I could tell. I think she finally went to sleep around 5am. She had riding lessons at 1 on Sat. and husband got her up and she was only a couple minutes late. She got home from lessons around 4:30. She got a snack when she got back, but that was all she had eaten since the day before at dinner. So, when we ate around 6 she got really nauseous. And, she has an extreme phobia of vomiting. So she took half a Dramamine, and fell asleep. She slept on the couch until about 1 on Sunday. And then stayed up last night until 3am. I hate this so much. She didn't do any make up work over the weekend at all.
I am trying to remind myself that she is only taking 10mg of Celexa right now. The psychiatrist took her off of everything else. psychiatrist wants her to take Melatonin, but she is refusing to take it, and I will be honest, I do not have it in me to fight her on this. I really really want some type of mood stablizer for difficult child, but the psychiatrist doesn't seem to listen. She feels it is fine. I am to the point to say to her "fine then you take her home with you and you parent her for awhile and "fix" her." I flat out asked her if this behavior was any indicator of bipolar (Because husband's moms bipolar) and psychiatrist says no.
Sorry for the long ramble. I guess I should be happy that she was in a decent mood and ready on time. I am just so worn out that it is hard to be happy over something that she should be doing on her own.
I guess I better go clean up the kitchen since the case worker is coming over this morning. Hopefully that will give me some hope at least.

 

[rdland]

Hugs to you. I hope her day goes well. Is she seeing a psychiatrist at php? Or is the psychiatrist you are talking about the one with the program? My difficult child is in a program right now too and there are 2 psychiatrist who follow the kids. One I really like who really works with me and another who is more of "lets just wait and monitor kind of psychiatrist" and is too laid back for my taste. I hope you can get the psychiatrist to do something to help her. Do they say she acts this way there also?

 

[StressedM0mma]

The psychiatrist she sees happens to also be on staff for the php program. We are not getting any feedback from the php at this point. She is acting sweet and normal there. Like she does to everyone else. We even warned her head counselor that she is very manipulative. And would act like she is doing the program. I am disappointed that we have had no contact with the php. My husband emailed her counselor and is going to go over today to try and talk to him. (husband works in the next building over from PHP) We definitely need family therapy, and we are getting nothing at this point.

 

[buddy]

I hope your meeting goes well. At least while at php she can't sleep right? maybe that will help her a little...five days of a routine...

You need some kind of automatic bed that pops her up and out in the morning like cartoons...

 

[StressedM0mma]

You crack me up Buddy. I hope the case manager meeting goes well too. I am not sure what to expect or ask for at this point. I would love a robot that could wake her up and make her get out of bed. That would be awesome. I miss my girl. She was never that pleasant in the morning, but... Did you send Q to school this morning or did you end up keeping him home?

 

[buddy]

I decided to go with routine. Plus I remembered that this would be day one with the new FM/auditory trainer. We need the data if we are ever going to know I guess. Tomorrow we meet with the person doing the independent FBA. I did get to talk to her on the phone and she said that we can meet in person and do my part of the fba before she does the school part so my concerns and questions are on the table. We will see... I only have partial hope that this will help. I think it is ultimately going to come down to his not being in a school like that... not because it is not good for him, but because they wont make it work for him. And I did learn the last time I made a big change that it was worth the effort to change if it made him progress and reduced the stress in our home. I just have to do it in a very planned way. We can't be dangling and law center says not to tip my hand at ANY time. So, we hurry and wait.

 

[rdland]

The psychiatrist she sees happens to also be on staff for the php program. We are not getting any feedback from the php at this point. She is acting sweet and normal there. Like she does to everyone else. We even warned her head counselor that she is very manipulative. And would act like she is doing the program. I am disappointed that we have had no contact with the php. My husband emailed her counselor and is going to go over today to try and talk to him. (husband works in the next building over from PHP) We definitely need family therapy, and we are getting nothing at this point.

Wow! You haven't talked to the psychiatrist?? I have talked to one or the other difficult child psychiatrist at the program 4 times in 9 days he has been going there. I would call and tell the you want a meeting with psychiatrist.

 

[StressedM0mma]

We are having a meeting the the counselor at 3:35 today. I have no idea what to expect. I am nervous. But I really want to know what is going on as she doesn't share, and want to know if she is even working the program. I have a feeling that she is not. I am going to try to write up a list to know what I want to ask because I get in there and I start to panic and talk in circles.

 

[buddy]

Wish we could meet for hot chocolate and work on our lists together! well, I will be thinking of you as I sort through my concerns and you are doing yours!

 

[AnnieO]

I would definitely have something to say about bipolar. Onyxx has been diagnosis'd as such - and what you are describing sounds SO MUCH LIKE HER AT AGE 14... OMG.

FWIW - melatonin had no effect on Onyxx. None. Zip. Zilch. And Onyxx did the not eating/bingeing/nausea thing - still does. She takes 75mg Zantac every morning and it helps. She says it also makes her come up positive for amphetamines, which I have trouble believing.

And waking her? FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!! I've had things thrown at me, been screamed at, and even had a fist aimed at me (didn't work too well, husband caught it).

I hope your meeting goes well, And psychiatrist needs to be open to a mood stabilizer. What's the worst - it doesn't work?!

As for manipulative - Yup. Right there with ya. Everyone else wonders what we are complaining about... Ya warn em, they do NOT listen, "yeah, we've seen that before" - ORLY. Yeah right.

again. And I will be thinking of you, too.

 

[StressedM0mma]

I do not understand why the psychiatrist won't listen about a mood stablizer. I flat out asked for one. I think she thinks we just want to medicate her. I just want her stable. The psychiatrist was appalled that she had been medicated for so long. But, she hasn't lived with this girl. Thank you for understanding about trying to wake them up. It is impossible. psychiatrist said no to bipolar because she doesn't stay up for days. And that is a primary indicator. We are leaning towards that because husband's mom is bipolar. We even told the psychiatrist this. And she still says that isn't the problem. It seems like everyone thinks we are just parenting poorly. Well, I have an 18yr old easy child daughter that is great. She is getting ready for college auditions. So we must have been doing something right all of those years.

 

[buddy]

OH of course you are a good parent... a wonderful parent. I hate that little things here and there can shake our confidence so much like that.... Another reason to come here... because people in the trenches can see past all that you know what...

No one but an amazing parent would be working so hard to help their child. You are checking every option and doing all you can reasonably do. Beyond reasonably actually.

How did the case manager meeting go??

 

[AnnieO]

Umm.

Find another psychiatrist...

Staying up for DAYS? HAHAHAHA. Has this psychiatrist never heard of rapid cycling bipolar? And the fact that teens CAN and DO cycle MUCH FASTER than the typical adult?

in my opinion, every parent makes mistakes, but ya know, bad parenting would show up in all children. And believe me, I've had people ask me why I didn't just spank Onyxx.

Yeah, and get the snot beaten out of me for my trouble. I don't think so!

 

[AnnieO]

Oh, yeah... That zoloft in your signature? If she's bipolar, it's probably making things worse... (Not 100% sure, just a good possibility)

 

[StressedM0mma]

I need to update the sig. They FINALLY listened to us and took her off of the Zoloft and put her on Celexa which is what she used to be on. Just at only 10mg. I kept telling them that the Zoloft was causing problems. Family meeting was horrid. We are dealing with some major issues. She is telling everyone not to trust the counselors.??? And, she loses her computer and phone at 9 tonight so that is going to be super ugly. Please pray thta we make it through the night n-tonight. I think there will be little sleep in our house tonight.

 

[pepperidge]

Celexa is probably not good either if she is bipolar. Really.

Please find a psychiatrist that will listen to you about the bipolar. With depression I would think the first drug of choice to trial would be Lamictal. And maybe a mood stablizer like Seroquel that will help her sleep.

When we got my son on Lamictal it made a huge difference.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks everyone. We are pushing so hard for a mood stabilizer but I think all they want to do is get her off her medications because they keep telling us she was so young when she started. Yes she was seven and she had issues back then even. More anxiety Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) then. Severe handwashing vo al noises I dont remember her otbers. She sees the psychiatrist Thursday and I told them I want her mood stabilized. Can any of you explain what the mood sta ilizer dix for your kids. Were they raging and going from 0 to10 and did the medications just help them settle? That is just want I want for her.

 

[buddy]

Well, I can't say that has happened in our case. I am still not convinced that the Lithium has helped anything at all. And you know what happened with the lamictal...

BUT Q's mood instability is from a brain injury and not a chemical imbalance so I don't really know that anything I have to say, even if the symptoms can look similar, really matters much (in terms of relate-ability that is)

any chance of a new psychiatrist? Someone who is more familiar with childhood bipolar and willing to listen to you overall better. I mean you told this one for quite a while that there were serious issues and it took a long time to get her into this program. Are you comfortable with this doctor?

by the way, Did you meet the case manager?

 

[pepperidge]

yes that is what Lamictal did for my kid (though I don't think he is technically bipolar). He stopped raging, was much less irritable and depressed, and actually was more willing to attend school. But he didn't have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) type issues. It has really helped with depression (which manifested itself as anger and irritability and lack of interest).

 

[zaftigmama]

I am bipolar and I don't stay up for days at a time. That's more a Bipolar I thing. I'm Bipolar II and your daughter could be too. The fact that she's sleeping so much is a big red flag for me--that's atypical for depressives. Most people with depression have trouble sleeping. You need a better psychiatrist, for real.

The stabilizer might not be the answer you're looking for--but you need a doctor who sees she's in pain and will work with you all to find a cocktail that works. Most BiPolar (BP) people take several medications (if they're doing medication, not all do)