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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 365246" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Good on him for being able to explain to you so well.</p><p></p><p>Have heart - he is the child he has always been. What you grieve, is the child you thought you had but never did, really.</p><p></p><p>You're probably feeling even more raw because of your lost job. Such a blow, and what bad timing for you! Mind you, there never really is a good time to lose a job.</p><p></p><p>About self-stimulatory behaviour - it's not always obvious. difficult child 3 has never flapped his hands. True, he's made noises, but generally not obvious ones. Some past stims which looked like tics - he had a sort of nose wrinkle. His autistic friend use to pull his mouth down briefly. easy child 2/difficult child 2 would sniff loudly, especially when reading or doing schoolwork. I remember one of my sisters doing the same thing - we shared a room and it drove me mad! difficult child 1 would make a quiet noise in his throat, it began when he was actually trying to imitate the sound of a male emu. Then he fond he couldn't stop. difficult child 3 makes a quiet growl like throat clearing. </p><p></p><p>As an infant, difficult child 3 would stare at the flicker of light through the trees. I realise now, he was stimming in the same way some kids flap hands. He never need to flap his hands because he had discovered other ways.</p><p></p><p>Stimming soothes, it's a coping strategy. If you try to stop them stimming, another habit will break out and replace it. Often as they get older, they find more socially acceptable ways to stimulant. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was obsessed with furry textures, so she covered her school folder in cowprint fur fabric and carried it everywhere between classes, thus getting her 'fix' of furry feel. Then she discovered the joy of firm pressure so she bought some heavily boned but attractive corsets and wears them, tightly laced. It looks like a fashion item on her and most of the time under her clothes, nobody would notice.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 365246, member: 1991"] Good on him for being able to explain to you so well. Have heart - he is the child he has always been. What you grieve, is the child you thought you had but never did, really. You're probably feeling even more raw because of your lost job. Such a blow, and what bad timing for you! Mind you, there never really is a good time to lose a job. About self-stimulatory behaviour - it's not always obvious. difficult child 3 has never flapped his hands. True, he's made noises, but generally not obvious ones. Some past stims which looked like tics - he had a sort of nose wrinkle. His autistic friend use to pull his mouth down briefly. easy child 2/difficult child 2 would sniff loudly, especially when reading or doing schoolwork. I remember one of my sisters doing the same thing - we shared a room and it drove me mad! difficult child 1 would make a quiet noise in his throat, it began when he was actually trying to imitate the sound of a male emu. Then he fond he couldn't stop. difficult child 3 makes a quiet growl like throat clearing. As an infant, difficult child 3 would stare at the flicker of light through the trees. I realise now, he was stimming in the same way some kids flap hands. He never need to flap his hands because he had discovered other ways. Stimming soothes, it's a coping strategy. If you try to stop them stimming, another habit will break out and replace it. Often as they get older, they find more socially acceptable ways to stimulant. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was obsessed with furry textures, so she covered her school folder in cowprint fur fabric and carried it everywhere between classes, thus getting her 'fix' of furry feel. Then she discovered the joy of firm pressure so she bought some heavily boned but attractive corsets and wears them, tightly laced. It looks like a fashion item on her and most of the time under her clothes, nobody would notice. Marg [/QUOTE]
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