Strange just keeps getting stranger.
She came asking for a sleepover with a new friend. Sleep overs always unnerve me because she is a bed wetter. We take precautions, and she's forthright with her friends about it and they are usually accepting and understanding, but as a mom, it still bugs me.
But now I have the concern of these "episodes" I was telling her that we are seeing psychiatrist tomorrow, and until we have a better control of the "episodes" I didn't think a sleep over was a good idea. So, she tells me she can control them. ??????REALLY?????? "Yeah, like right now I'm controlling it Mom" I asked her what she meant. "Like I wanna smack you face" Same tone and nuances in language (you as opposed to your) as the "creepy" episodes.
I'm like freaking out, but not letting it show. OK, you can control it when it comes out of conflict. "Yeah pretty much" I never knew this, she never shared this with me, maybe I never asked the right questions. So, OK, I get it when there's conflict, you can chose to have a bad response or god response. Excellent. BUT what about those times when there is no conflict going on? When the episode just seems to come out of thin air? She couldn't give me a response for that.
Oh, Light bulbs going off like crazy! Maybe the evening ones are the build up of being a easy child all day and enough is enough and it just erupts? A few weeks ago, it occurred to me that maybe I'm teaching my kids to be TOO good, so when conflicts arise (especially with peers) they don't know how to function in "schoolyard" fashion. Problem is, I don't know how to teach them any other way. So essentially, this child has no balance. It's either ALL good or ALL bad. There's no middle line where she can be angry and express angry but in a "positive" way.
Just remembered two things while I was typing that - 1. I've always told DD1 that she is entitled to any emotion she wanted, and she can verbalize any emotion she wanted, and if she had to do something like go slam pillows on the bed frame or go outside and just yell to get anger and upset out, then she was more than welcome to do it. 2. I once asked all the "pros" at son's grade school IEP meeting "What EXACTLY are constructive and positive ways to express anger?" they all stared at me blankly. Not a single one even attempted to answer my question. GRRRRRRRR
Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.
