Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Dealing with the anger
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 420121" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>It wasn't very hard to come to this thought E, because I only had to think of my own situation with Dude. Right now? I have more peace. Not total peace, but more peace because he is a few hundred miles away. It isn't like it was when he was living here, or down the road at a moments notice would drop in no matter what boundaries we set. </p><p> </p><p> Normally DF being disabled is here all the time, but say we wanted to go see a movie at the dollar theater? It took effort, planning, thinking. By the time we did what we needed to do to secrure the house, our property, our garage, our dogs? It sucked almost all the fun out of it. Then we'd go, and think did we do this? Did you catch that? Did you put the XYZ in the safe, how about the LMNOP? It was frustrating to think that it's bad enough thieves would try to invade your space, but your own kid could get past the dogs. So not even the trip TO the theater was enjoyable it was all again - about Dude. Then the movie was spent 1/2 wondering if you were being ripped off, and the drive home was worrying about what we'd find, and then the release (so to speak) of "oh good" he hasn't been here. Then the exhale of "Why do we have to have this at all?" Maddening really. We have a dog door - and most of the time? That's how he was getting in. After that show where the thief said only dog collar activated dog doors should be used? I thought - how clever - then realized if it's your KID getting into yourhouse and the dogs know him? It's not going to work anyway and just felt defeated. So now what do I do? get a dog that will eat my kid? I mean come on! </p><p> </p><p>As far as the boundaries? I'm feeling better about it too, but again, he's not here. True, I'm a lot tougher when he's not around. We all are. I really have been working on saying no, and improving. I'm not perfect, and I've helped a little recently - but I've also seen improvements to make me want to help a little too. I can tell you this much? He's said in the past that he was going to move back. DF was in a panic. I can't explain it better. It wasn't upset, angry or anything else it was panic. </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps it would be good to write out all the things you won't budge on and make your own rules? Or maybe this is an excellent time to tell your therapist you need extra help. I don't know exactly what to tell you in this situation because like I said all of the history here is so unique, and there is a Grandbaby involved. I do know no matter - that wouldn't be a bargaining chip not now not ever. I'd have to dig deep and find a way to make that clear from this day forward and live with my decision - I think if you don't stand by that one? She's going to be a pawn in a very ill played game of life-chess. </p><p> </p><p>Wish I had better advice - but other than my typical bat to a tree and pound the grass for frustration advice? In this case? I'm all for seeing a therapist, and talking my dog for a walk. - You know the kid with the nice teeth! </p><p> </p><p>Hugs </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 420121, member: 4964"] It wasn't very hard to come to this thought E, because I only had to think of my own situation with Dude. Right now? I have more peace. Not total peace, but more peace because he is a few hundred miles away. It isn't like it was when he was living here, or down the road at a moments notice would drop in no matter what boundaries we set. Normally DF being disabled is here all the time, but say we wanted to go see a movie at the dollar theater? It took effort, planning, thinking. By the time we did what we needed to do to secrure the house, our property, our garage, our dogs? It sucked almost all the fun out of it. Then we'd go, and think did we do this? Did you catch that? Did you put the XYZ in the safe, how about the LMNOP? It was frustrating to think that it's bad enough thieves would try to invade your space, but your own kid could get past the dogs. So not even the trip TO the theater was enjoyable it was all again - about Dude. Then the movie was spent 1/2 wondering if you were being ripped off, and the drive home was worrying about what we'd find, and then the release (so to speak) of "oh good" he hasn't been here. Then the exhale of "Why do we have to have this at all?" Maddening really. We have a dog door - and most of the time? That's how he was getting in. After that show where the thief said only dog collar activated dog doors should be used? I thought - how clever - then realized if it's your KID getting into yourhouse and the dogs know him? It's not going to work anyway and just felt defeated. So now what do I do? get a dog that will eat my kid? I mean come on! As far as the boundaries? I'm feeling better about it too, but again, he's not here. True, I'm a lot tougher when he's not around. We all are. I really have been working on saying no, and improving. I'm not perfect, and I've helped a little recently - but I've also seen improvements to make me want to help a little too. I can tell you this much? He's said in the past that he was going to move back. DF was in a panic. I can't explain it better. It wasn't upset, angry or anything else it was panic. Perhaps it would be good to write out all the things you won't budge on and make your own rules? Or maybe this is an excellent time to tell your therapist you need extra help. I don't know exactly what to tell you in this situation because like I said all of the history here is so unique, and there is a Grandbaby involved. I do know no matter - that wouldn't be a bargaining chip not now not ever. I'd have to dig deep and find a way to make that clear from this day forward and live with my decision - I think if you don't stand by that one? She's going to be a pawn in a very ill played game of life-chess. Wish I had better advice - but other than my typical bat to a tree and pound the grass for frustration advice? In this case? I'm all for seeing a therapist, and talking my dog for a walk. - You know the kid with the nice teeth! Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Dealing with the anger
Top