Dealing with trolls and disruptive people; my new boundary

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MidwestMom, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am going to treat them much like I do when my difficult child is being disrespectful or looking for a fight. The ignore button works great. You won't even know that the person has posted and nobody has to be the wiser.

    As parents of children who do not grow up, use substances, can be violent and dangerous to us and who do the absurd, I personally prefer this be a sanctuary for me. This may not work for everybody, but from now on, that ignore button will go on faster.

    By getting pulled in, I add to the problem. So I'm practicing my new setting of boundaries on trolls too...lol. ;)
     
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  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I do that from time to time. I imagine that some may have done it to me from time to time. It's good to set limits whether someone is a troll or they're just a bit much for me today. It was surprising to me how little I miss the flame wars. It's nice that "ignore" is a private thing and no one has to know that it's been done, it just keeps us from getting sucked into something that is painful to us (arguing).
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Witz, I'm sure I'm on some ignore lists and that's perfectly ok. I would rather the board be peaceful than somebody who is irritated by me keeps dogging my posts. I don't remember flame wars. THANK GOD!!! :)
     
  4. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    I figured out ignore pretty early on, when a difficult child was posting "in defense of difficult child's". I was like...please!!! get your own soft place for the battle weary! we come here to ESCAPE, not have to deal with another rationalizer...I was getting all worked up and then I found "ignore". Worked like a charm.
     
  5. Crying Uncle

    Crying Uncle New Member

    Today I learned the same... shoulda hit ignore early one and simply not been involved.
     
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  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sometimes the title alone should tell me "Pam, stay away" like "In Defense of difficult children" although truly I had no idea it was a difficult child defending them.

    For all of us who are trying to take care of ourselves and our serenity, it is really up to us to, even here, keep it a soft a place to land. PE in particular is so loving and caring and it is my own decision to silently make sure I keep the difficult children who come here from time to time off of my screen. I have total control of that and the person who is posting is oblivious.

    Win/win situation. I'm angry at myself that I didn't think of that before. I need to slap myself AGAIN...lol.
     
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    MWM, Witz, both of you have given me a stern talking to / swift kick in the rear and I am glad I never ignored you both!!! However, neither of you ever ATTACKED me, either. I love you both to bits! Keep the real going... PLEASE!
     
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  8. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    now i get it, read this earlier and was like... what happened? kind of wondering if i stuck my foot in my mouth again? after a little reading ok i get it, not me tasting toe jam this time... whew

    i'll end with thank you moderators for putting a stop to it quickly, some people when offered an olive branch will beat you with it. we all need to respect each other while we share ideas even when their opinion goes against everything our gut tells us... and when things get nasty there is always the ignore button.

    sending you all hugs and wishes for a peaceful evening.

    nancy
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Please before you hit ignore, report the offending user/troll so admin can be alerted to an issue. We cannot possibly read everything immediately. We need members to keep us apprised of problems as soon as possible. Thanks! ;) And that wasnt sarcastic....lol
     
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  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOLOL, Janet.
     
  11. Crying Uncle

    Crying Uncle New Member

    LOL, best use of winky face ever.
     
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Are you talking to me, Janet? Are you seriously winking at me? :o_O: (Hint to the rest of us - I tipped them off a few days ago that something was amiss, and then again as it {the flame war} all really got going. Janet is absolutely correct that we need to report then ignore.) I'm also glad that this was dealt with so quickly and we were able to move on. I'm truly appalled that we had to go through that. I hope we are able to block the IP and not just the user. We don't need anymore of that.

    Annie - thank you for that. Sincerely - thank you.
     
  13. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    thank you janet for the reminder some of us seem to think there is a moderator out there is cyberspace reading everything that gets posted on the forums, we tend to forget that even the moderators have lives, families, jobs...

    picturing a moderator at keyboard with spider webs hanging off them and had to laugh, you all catch a lot but can't be expected to read everything.

    thank you witz for calling it to their attention, i tend to pm the offending party and that has caused me problems. another thing that has caused me problems is what i call impaired posting - for that reason if i go for a 3rd glass of wine i unplug my keyboard, mouse still works i can still read and click like or agree but i taste a lot less toe jam that way.

    runawaybunny now i'm starting to understand your avitar a little better sometimes i would picture a cute fuzzy bunny with a heart pillow to catch us other times it was a huge jackrabbit (named leroy) with a sledge hammer in his hands... no matter what you look like in the mirror you will always be beautiful in my eyes; please know i truly appreciate you and you are doing a great job.

    nancy
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm seriously not sure who the mods on this board are. I know RE and now Janet. So it's you two?

    Hoping no more need for reporting....
     
  15. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mods on the PE site MWM are as you mentioned, Janet and I.
     
  16. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    too funny i had to look i thought MWM was a moderator!

    at the very top of this website there is a list home, forums, internet search, members, about us on the leftside on the right your sign on name, inbox and alerts - inbox is where that pm is i tried to send a few days ago which if you disabled it when first signed on here probably more then a decade ago you probably didn't get it, don't worry about alerts it's all good just tells you when someone liked or agreed with something you said and who gave you the "brownie points".

    MWM if you click on members you will see 4 tabs, if look at each will find that you are in 9th place for most messages, 3rd for most positive ratings, and 2nd place for most points (no wonder i thought you were a moderator LOL)that last tab labeled STAFF has all the moderators listed runawaybunny is the site administrator, so of all our fearless leaders here - she is the one who has the power to hit the "your out of here" button.

    me not wanting to make runawaybunny boot me is why i unplug my keyboard when go for 3rd glass of wine, getting scolded or looking like an a** wouldn't bother me but if i couldn't talk to you all i would truly feel alone in the world; because even though have a close good family unit none of them have dealt with mental illness so just don't get what i go thru on a daily basis with these girls.

    nancy
     
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Naw, I've screwed up too much myself to be a mod..lol. And I don't think I'd like it anyway.

    Well, if RE and Janet are the mods here, we're in very good hands. Thanks for telling me, RE, and thanks for getting on top of things, Janet.
     
  18. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    years ago child and adolescent bipolar site tried to recruit me as a moderator but think i chilled the offer when asked about medical benefits and salary

    nancy
     
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  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Had to check that out. So bittersweet to see Kris as a "new member" with 15k + comments. Do you suppose she's with us? I miss her. I hope that her kids are well.

    :angel:
     
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  20. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    sometimes their difficult child gets their act together and they no longer need this site... kind of drift off, other times they can't log on because difficult child threw their personal computer out the window and it didn't bounce well... i know i've taken breaks away from the site for both of those reasons in the past. the bouncing easy child one several times, sigh... still need to fix that window she splattered my last printer against around 5 years ago, just got the storm window/ shove a couch cushion in it in winter to block the draft.

    in 2010 when they finally put angel on lithium it was like first breath of fresh air since 2001, we went to the zoo, water park, camping, museums, concerts, the public library all that stuff that we had missed when cave dwellers with a kid to ill to take into public. i also read like a hundred books that had nothing to do with bipolar or Special Education laws, treatment programs etc...

    i'll admit i abandoned you all for a couple years to just go play, when someone disappears just hope it was for similar reasons and put a call out to your higher power to send an angel to look after them; not much else you can do.

    in this economy i totally understand that some times when choosing between food or internet, we can't compete with hunger so we lose one of our internet friends for a while.

    i said a prayer for kris and hope where ever she is is doing well, hugs and good thoughts this weekend witz and to anyone else reading this. looking out the window and thinking going to let this teen circling behind me have the computer and go read a book under a tree and enjoy my flowers. life is good, time is now to enjoy it.

    nancy
     
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