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Dear Abby on Religious vs Legal Marriages
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 247080" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I remember when the original letter that started it all was in "Dear Abby" and I can understand why people were upset about <em>that</em> "wedding". If I remember it right, this couple was planning a huge, formal church ceremony complete with expensive gown, flowers, reception - the whole bit. And they had already collected thousands of dollars worth of wedding gifts from their friends and family who all believed that they were getting legally married, but they were really 'faking it' - just going through the motions to have a big celebration and get lots of gifts!</p><p> </p><p>And I can completely understand why sometimes NOT being legally married is the better choice, like in Janet's case. Or sometimes older people on Social Security choose not to marry because it would reduce their benefits. What I don't understand is how you work out all the legalities when you're not legally married but live together like you were ... I guess it would depend on whether people just assume that you are married or if it's known that you're not. It would bring up a lot of the issues that some gay couples face. If a couple is not legally married, can she be on his medical insurance and vise versa? Can one of them make medical decisions for the other if they become ill or incapacitated? And if one of them dies, will their assets automatically go to their other relatives, like parents or siblings, or to the partner? My sister in law's mom was killed in an accident last summer - she and his dad had been legally married, then divorced - and it's still such a mess that it will be in court for <em>years</em>!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 247080, member: 1883"] I remember when the original letter that started it all was in "Dear Abby" and I can understand why people were upset about [I]that[/I] "wedding". If I remember it right, this couple was planning a huge, formal church ceremony complete with expensive gown, flowers, reception - the whole bit. And they had already collected thousands of dollars worth of wedding gifts from their friends and family who all believed that they were getting legally married, but they were really 'faking it' - just going through the motions to have a big celebration and get lots of gifts! And I can completely understand why sometimes NOT being legally married is the better choice, like in Janet's case. Or sometimes older people on Social Security choose not to marry because it would reduce their benefits. What I don't understand is how you work out all the legalities when you're not legally married but live together like you were ... I guess it would depend on whether people just assume that you are married or if it's known that you're not. It would bring up a lot of the issues that some gay couples face. If a couple is not legally married, can she be on his medical insurance and vise versa? Can one of them make medical decisions for the other if they become ill or incapacitated? And if one of them dies, will their assets automatically go to their other relatives, like parents or siblings, or to the partner? My sister in law's mom was killed in an accident last summer - she and his dad had been legally married, then divorced - and it's still such a mess that it will be in court for [I]years[/I]! [/QUOTE]
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Dear Abby on Religious vs Legal Marriages
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