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Dear Birth Mom...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 280867" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>My difficult child wrote almost the identical words to her bm. Over the years I wondered if we should try to locate her and reunite them so that difficult child could get her questions answered and maybe dissipate some of the anger she had toward us. In the end I decided I had to wait until she was 18 because we were still responsible for her and her well being. </p><p></p><p>She turned 18 this past Saturday. While we signed the papers to have her bm located and reunite them, I recently found out information that I believe would cause difficult child a lot more difficulty and would certainly not help her in any way to get on with her life. I decided that difficult child would have to initiate the search herself when she was 21, and hopefully by that time she will be better able to handle it.</p><p></p><p>If there is any doubt in your mind that this contact would not be good for your difficult child then you should not do it. I know in my heart that any contact right now would be destructive to my difficult child. I was so hoping that bm had gotten her act together and could be a source of support to difficult child. That is not the case and in all honesty it clearly explained why we were having so many difficulties with difficult child. I knew that if difficult child had any chance to straighten out, reunification at this time was out of the question.</p><p></p><p>I know so well many of the feelings you are having. You have done everything for this child, given her your heart and it seems all you get in return is her anger and resentment. I hope for both of us that someday our difficult child's will understand and apprecaite the family that they have.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 280867, member: 59"] My difficult child wrote almost the identical words to her bm. Over the years I wondered if we should try to locate her and reunite them so that difficult child could get her questions answered and maybe dissipate some of the anger she had toward us. In the end I decided I had to wait until she was 18 because we were still responsible for her and her well being. She turned 18 this past Saturday. While we signed the papers to have her bm located and reunite them, I recently found out information that I believe would cause difficult child a lot more difficulty and would certainly not help her in any way to get on with her life. I decided that difficult child would have to initiate the search herself when she was 21, and hopefully by that time she will be better able to handle it. If there is any doubt in your mind that this contact would not be good for your difficult child then you should not do it. I know in my heart that any contact right now would be destructive to my difficult child. I was so hoping that bm had gotten her act together and could be a source of support to difficult child. That is not the case and in all honesty it clearly explained why we were having so many difficulties with difficult child. I knew that if difficult child had any chance to straighten out, reunification at this time was out of the question. I know so well many of the feelings you are having. You have done everything for this child, given her your heart and it seems all you get in return is her anger and resentment. I hope for both of us that someday our difficult child's will understand and apprecaite the family that they have. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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